Don't Forget To Feed Your Bear Or It'll Die

I, for one, don't see what's SO Wrong about taking advantage of Don's new coffeemaker and making several videos that feature pepsi-to-coffee pot transfer (a la Stella "pizza" video).

Haven't you heard?!
Good artists borrow,
and Great Artists Steal!

It is the flat-out most undeniable fact in history.

I BOUGHT A PLANT TODAY!
It's a jade. It looks like rubber and Grandma Bobbie has a big one in her apartment. It's in the bedroom that dad and Uncle Al used to share, so I was thinking of naming it Michal (hybrid of Michael and Al), but I quickly poo-poo'd the idea when I imagined myself referring to this jade as Michal. It's not right; it's just not right.

So then I thought, "how about Paul?"
But I didn't really think it was a guy necessarily,
unless it was a really gentle little boy.

But it's not really a girl, either. Unless it were named "Marcy," which is not an option because this jade has no sexual orientation and all Marcy makes me think of is that lesbo from Peanuts.

So right now there's a good chance that I'll call it "Walt" and leave it sexless. Walt will be named for Walt Whitman, because I have taken up reading Leaves of Grass aloud to the jade. We'll see how it does. I want to water it more, but the guy said I should only water it once a week. Walt cost me $4.

Maybe it'll be Walty. No, no wait. Not Walty.

This jade-naming is a difficult and touchy business. And I'm not 100% sure that Marcy was a lesbianca. I'd hate to promote any sort of unwanted libel.

Are you out of love with me?
Are you longing to be free?
Do I drive you up a tree?
YEAH! OH YEAH!