Catwoman Goes To Cirque Du Soleil Just Like You And Me
and trust me because I know because I've been watching Catwoman on AMC for over an hour now. So trust me already!
AND ALSO:
Becklectic is back from hiatus!
(toilet flush noise)
Care for a sneak preview of the weeks to come? Okay, if you insist.
a) super wishlist for my 22nd birthday
b) great one-liners that have to do exclusively with racial differences
c) a recipe or two
d) constant reports from the new household, "Becky's Boys," alias "Hotel." I'll have to walk up six different flights of stairs just to get to my room!
e) dreams I remember
f) heinously accurate poop bookkeeping
g) bloopers!!!
h) words in different languages that you can learn just by reading this (you're welcome!)
Benjamin Bratt: (near a fish tank) Pretty.
Catwoman: Thanks.
Benjamin Bratt: Oh, you too, but I was talking about the fish.
THIS IS A REAL LINE THEY JUST SAID IN THIS MOVIE WHICH APPARENTLY HAS TRISOMY 21 BECAUSE WHAT HAVE I BEEN WATCHING FOR THE PAST HOUR? Besides the Law & Order that has to do with Anna Nicole Smith's son (starring a very, very serious David Cross) and of course, My Boys on TBS during commercials.
God do I wish I were watching Working Girl right now. They just came home from a date kissing and everything, but it was so much lamer than when they did that in Working Girl. Man, Working Girl would probably be an awesome present for my birthday (just one shopping month left).
I babysat this morning from 7am to noon.
I think I'm going to rewrite the script to Catwoman. Starting now!
CATWOMAN (as reimagined by the mind of Becky Abrams)
Mia, a meek yet quietly beautiful woman, shuffles papers hesitantly at a desk. Helen, her overweight coworker, peeks at her from over the cubicle wall.
HELEN: Pssst Mia. (no response) Mia!
MIA: Are you saying "Meow" or "Mia?"
HELEN: Why would I be saying "meow?"
MIA:...I don't know...
.SCENE 2.
(at a pet shop)
CLERK: Ahh, I see you're looking at our newest cat toys. Can I show you the catnip?
MIA: Okayyyyyyyy ay ay ay this is so great! Mmmmmmmmm I sure love catnip!! Whoaaoaoaoaoa I'm freaking out over this catnip!!
CLERK: But I thought only cats go crazy for catnip.
MIA:...I don't know...
.SCENE 3.
(in a room with a dog)
Mia and the dog look at each other contemptuously.
.SCENE 4. FINAL SCENE
HELEN: And all this time, you were...?
MIA: That's right, I was a cat. And I was a woman.
HELEN: And now you're dead.
MIA:...I don't live...
fin
Go ahead and take it, Miramax. FEEL FREE.
Welcome Backlectic!
PS this commercial with three little elementary school boys doing the robot? YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
AND ALSO:
Becklectic is back from hiatus!
(toilet flush noise)
Care for a sneak preview of the weeks to come? Okay, if you insist.
a) super wishlist for my 22nd birthday
b) great one-liners that have to do exclusively with racial differences
c) a recipe or two
d) constant reports from the new household, "Becky's Boys," alias "Hotel." I'll have to walk up six different flights of stairs just to get to my room!
e) dreams I remember
f) heinously accurate poop bookkeeping
g) bloopers!!!
h) words in different languages that you can learn just by reading this (you're welcome!)
Benjamin Bratt: (near a fish tank) Pretty.
Catwoman: Thanks.
Benjamin Bratt: Oh, you too, but I was talking about the fish.
THIS IS A REAL LINE THEY JUST SAID IN THIS MOVIE WHICH APPARENTLY HAS TRISOMY 21 BECAUSE WHAT HAVE I BEEN WATCHING FOR THE PAST HOUR? Besides the Law & Order that has to do with Anna Nicole Smith's son (starring a very, very serious David Cross) and of course, My Boys on TBS during commercials.
God do I wish I were watching Working Girl right now. They just came home from a date kissing and everything, but it was so much lamer than when they did that in Working Girl. Man, Working Girl would probably be an awesome present for my birthday (just one shopping month left).
I babysat this morning from 7am to noon.
I think I'm going to rewrite the script to Catwoman. Starting now!
CATWOMAN (as reimagined by the mind of Becky Abrams)
Mia, a meek yet quietly beautiful woman, shuffles papers hesitantly at a desk. Helen, her overweight coworker, peeks at her from over the cubicle wall.
HELEN: Pssst Mia. (no response) Mia!
MIA: Are you saying "Meow" or "Mia?"
HELEN: Why would I be saying "meow?"
MIA:...I don't know...
.SCENE 2.
(at a pet shop)
CLERK: Ahh, I see you're looking at our newest cat toys. Can I show you the catnip?
MIA: Okayyyyyyyy ay ay ay this is so great! Mmmmmmmmm I sure love catnip!! Whoaaoaoaoaoa I'm freaking out over this catnip!!
CLERK: But I thought only cats go crazy for catnip.
MIA:...I don't know...
.SCENE 3.
(in a room with a dog)
Mia and the dog look at each other contemptuously.
.SCENE 4. FINAL SCENE
HELEN: And all this time, you were...?
MIA: That's right, I was a cat. And I was a woman.
HELEN: And now you're dead.
MIA:...I don't live...
fin
Go ahead and take it, Miramax. FEEL FREE.
Welcome Backlectic!
PS this commercial with three little elementary school boys doing the robot? YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
posted by Becky at 11:33 PM
1 Comments:
wow! what a comeback. true inspiration. I remember when I saw Catwoman, it was in the theater (for free) and I couldn't stop laughing out loud. It was awesome.
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