And All The Things I Had In Mind For You And Me
Where do I begin?
(to tell the story of how great a love can be...NOPE NOT LOVE STORY, FOLKS)
This is the story of
What happens when
5 girls
Live in a car
For three days in Nashville...
When they stop
Being Polite
And start
GETTING REAL
But first things first:
(today) Wake up at 11:30 after crashing last night at around 11:30. Put on new dinosaur shirtigan. Pull out jell-o and remember that I can't make jell-o that doesn't taste like trash. Watch vh1's 100 Least Hip-Hop television program. Regret it immediately. Eat a pastry.
(yesterday) At Barnes & Noble Cafe from 9-4. During my time there I:
1) sample a pepsi into which I have poured almond syrup.
2) Burn my right thumb on the toaster.
3) Watch a 15-year-old boy make his mother almost die laughing while they ate sandwiches. They laughed so much - the mom even crossed that line where her face turned red and she couldn't stop laughing if she wanted to. It was nice to see.
AFTER WORK:
I bought the remaining 40% of Hobby Lobby's merchandise I left behind before, including:
1) a canvas
2) a prehistoric dinosaur scene iron-on
3) a paint-by-numbers of two cowboys
4) a rug/pillow kit
5) some more bobbins for the sewing machine, which I have heavily used in the past three days to:
5a) hem some pants
5b) create one skirt where there were once two.
6) a sewing pattern for a kimono
7) a zipper.
Then I unknowingly dropped my mother's credit card and insurance card in the parking lot there (I had picked up a prescription for her earlier).
Then I drove home and freaked out when they weren't in:
a) my pocket
b) my purse
c) my car
Then I called Hobby Lobby and they were all, "Ohhh We've been waiting for your call! A woman found your cards in the parking lot and they're here right now!"
Then I was all "OH DEAR LORD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU"
Then I was all "drive drive drive back to Hobby Lobby...pick up cards...come back home"
Oh MAN it was an ordeal.
After that, I cut open the front of this black t-shirt I have and I sewed one side of the zipper onto the shirt (I planned to make a shirt-cardigan, shirtigan) but quickly realized that I bought the wrong kind of zipper for this sort of thing, so I had to rip out what I had already sewn. Then I ironed-on the dinosaur scene to the back of the shirtigan.
Then I tried to do the rug thing, but it's missing this very important tool I've never heard of, so I have to make Hobby Lobby trip #3 (that's right, folks, 3 times in 20 hours) to get that tool at some point today.
Then I tried to do the paint-by-numbers thing, but it turns out you need Turpentine, which I lack.
Then I gave up on arts 'n' crafts in favor of making some jell-o, which turned out terribly.
AND NOW, AT THE END OF A VERY LONG, VERY EXASPERATING ENTRY:
(the trip) It was AWESOME, we went to NASHVILLE, we had a BLAST. Here's who went:
1) Corned Beef Tullis
2) Holls McGee
3) Mashed Potatoes Turner
4) Trash Biscuit Stephenson
5) and me, MudButt Abrams (so named for my penchant for falling in mud, not for any sort of hygienic problem)
We left Mary's at 11, chik-fil-a chicken biscuits in hand, and drove drove drove until we hit Chattanooga, where a building stands alone bearing the name "Krystal" on its corners.
We wanted to go into the test kitchen SO BADLY but it was guarded like none other! They had this bell you had to ring and everything! We hid our faces from the security camera.
Then we drove to Jack Daniel's Country and took a self-guided tour around the Jack Daniel's Museum. I bought some whiskey balls and thought wistfully of the holidays.
BAYMONT INN: Katherine went to check-in at the front desk for "her single room" and then she snuck us in the back door. We five stayed two nights in this room, and we paid very little money for it. Then we hit up Nashville, got hopelessly lost, drove past the actual city, and ate at a Mellow Mushroom whose theme was apparently "Crying Baby Night." Then we told-all in the hotel room.
The Next Day: MAZE CRAZE? MORE LIKE MAZE UNFAZED. Because it sucked and we hated it in a nonchalant sort of way. All I'm saying is they promised us a labyrinth, and all we got was 10 cubicle walls. That's all I care to say.
Then a short nap at the hotel, then an exciting walk to the Shoney's next door, then back to the hotel room, then we watched Man Squall (alternate title White Squall?) courtesy of the Baymont Inn's HBO service, then we hit up Nashville AGAIN, only this time in style. We bought hella souvenirs and ate at Demos' and walked up 2nd Avenue, which is full of bars we didn't enter. We saw a midget.
The Third Day:
1) The Grand Ole Opry...giftshop
2) The Parthenon...of Nashville's Centennial Park
3) The Car...in which we drove home.
Many thanks to Travel Size Guess Who, that slushie from that gas station, and Montel Jordan's "This Is How We Do It."
THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH READING FOR ONE DAY, DON'T YOU THINK? GO WATCH TV, ALREADY!
Particularly on June 28th, when Stella premieres on Comedy Central.
Let us hope for the best and watch for unnecessary crotch-shots.
(to tell the story of how great a love can be...NOPE NOT LOVE STORY, FOLKS)
This is the story of
What happens when
5 girls
Live in a car
For three days in Nashville...
When they stop
Being Polite
And start
GETTING REAL
But first things first:
(today) Wake up at 11:30 after crashing last night at around 11:30. Put on new dinosaur shirtigan. Pull out jell-o and remember that I can't make jell-o that doesn't taste like trash. Watch vh1's 100 Least Hip-Hop television program. Regret it immediately. Eat a pastry.
(yesterday) At Barnes & Noble Cafe from 9-4. During my time there I:
1) sample a pepsi into which I have poured almond syrup.
2) Burn my right thumb on the toaster.
3) Watch a 15-year-old boy make his mother almost die laughing while they ate sandwiches. They laughed so much - the mom even crossed that line where her face turned red and she couldn't stop laughing if she wanted to. It was nice to see.
AFTER WORK:
I bought the remaining 40% of Hobby Lobby's merchandise I left behind before, including:
1) a canvas
2) a prehistoric dinosaur scene iron-on
3) a paint-by-numbers of two cowboys
4) a rug/pillow kit
5) some more bobbins for the sewing machine, which I have heavily used in the past three days to:
5a) hem some pants
5b) create one skirt where there were once two.
6) a sewing pattern for a kimono
7) a zipper.
Then I unknowingly dropped my mother's credit card and insurance card in the parking lot there (I had picked up a prescription for her earlier).
Then I drove home and freaked out when they weren't in:
a) my pocket
b) my purse
c) my car
Then I called Hobby Lobby and they were all, "Ohhh We've been waiting for your call! A woman found your cards in the parking lot and they're here right now!"
Then I was all "OH DEAR LORD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU"
Then I was all "drive drive drive back to Hobby Lobby...pick up cards...come back home"
Oh MAN it was an ordeal.
After that, I cut open the front of this black t-shirt I have and I sewed one side of the zipper onto the shirt (I planned to make a shirt-cardigan, shirtigan) but quickly realized that I bought the wrong kind of zipper for this sort of thing, so I had to rip out what I had already sewn. Then I ironed-on the dinosaur scene to the back of the shirtigan.
Then I tried to do the rug thing, but it's missing this very important tool I've never heard of, so I have to make Hobby Lobby trip #3 (that's right, folks, 3 times in 20 hours) to get that tool at some point today.
Then I tried to do the paint-by-numbers thing, but it turns out you need Turpentine, which I lack.
Then I gave up on arts 'n' crafts in favor of making some jell-o, which turned out terribly.
AND NOW, AT THE END OF A VERY LONG, VERY EXASPERATING ENTRY:
(the trip) It was AWESOME, we went to NASHVILLE, we had a BLAST. Here's who went:
1) Corned Beef Tullis
2) Holls McGee
3) Mashed Potatoes Turner
4) Trash Biscuit Stephenson
5) and me, MudButt Abrams (so named for my penchant for falling in mud, not for any sort of hygienic problem)
We left Mary's at 11, chik-fil-a chicken biscuits in hand, and drove drove drove until we hit Chattanooga, where a building stands alone bearing the name "Krystal" on its corners.
We wanted to go into the test kitchen SO BADLY but it was guarded like none other! They had this bell you had to ring and everything! We hid our faces from the security camera.
Then we drove to Jack Daniel's Country and took a self-guided tour around the Jack Daniel's Museum. I bought some whiskey balls and thought wistfully of the holidays.
BAYMONT INN: Katherine went to check-in at the front desk for "her single room" and then she snuck us in the back door. We five stayed two nights in this room, and we paid very little money for it. Then we hit up Nashville, got hopelessly lost, drove past the actual city, and ate at a Mellow Mushroom whose theme was apparently "Crying Baby Night." Then we told-all in the hotel room.
The Next Day: MAZE CRAZE? MORE LIKE MAZE UNFAZED. Because it sucked and we hated it in a nonchalant sort of way. All I'm saying is they promised us a labyrinth, and all we got was 10 cubicle walls. That's all I care to say.
Then a short nap at the hotel, then an exciting walk to the Shoney's next door, then back to the hotel room, then we watched Man Squall (alternate title White Squall?) courtesy of the Baymont Inn's HBO service, then we hit up Nashville AGAIN, only this time in style. We bought hella souvenirs and ate at Demos' and walked up 2nd Avenue, which is full of bars we didn't enter. We saw a midget.
The Third Day:
1) The Grand Ole Opry...giftshop
2) The Parthenon...of Nashville's Centennial Park
3) The Car...in which we drove home.
Many thanks to Travel Size Guess Who, that slushie from that gas station, and Montel Jordan's "This Is How We Do It."
THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH READING FOR ONE DAY, DON'T YOU THINK? GO WATCH TV, ALREADY!
Particularly on June 28th, when Stella premieres on Comedy Central.
Let us hope for the best and watch for unnecessary crotch-shots.
posted by Becky at 12:42 PM
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