It's True, Your Honor: This Man Has No Dick.

What happened last night:

5:30. Return home from shopping and realize that I'm very, very tired.

6:00. Fall asleep.

1:00. Wake up, look at the clock, go back to sleep. Have an extended dream, and the only part I remember involves a nervous skunk with an itchy trigger finger who guards the steps to my house. My dog and I kept trying to get past it without threatening it, but every time we tried, the skunk would freak out and spray us a little. By the third time, I lost it and started screaming at the skunk. It jumped and did that cartoon running-in-the-air thing and ran away.

5:00. Wake up. I'm still extremely tired, but I watch the final episode of "Wonderfalls" anyway. I am happy that the show only lasted for 13 episodes because I would've hated to see its decline.

6:00. Read some of Handmaid's Tale, which I never read all the way through when I was supposed to (eat my shorts, lit hum)

6:45. Fall asleep again.

11:00. Wake up, remember that I never took my babysitting payment out of my corduroys' back pocket, retrieve money from pocket, put it back, go downstairs, start watching Ghostbusters on TNT.

I hope I come out of this ordeal three or four inches taller. I'll go measure myself right now
...........
........
We can't be positive (since I measured with a yard stick), but if this thing is right, I've grown a half-inch!

Is Becky still growing?!

Sayonara, 5'0"
Welcome to town, 5'0.5"!