Linda, You've Got To Get Away From That Creep!

I just heard somebody say that on "I Love The Nineties: 1994: Part Deux."

(drawn-out sigh)

NEWSFLASH!
C. Mason Wells commented on my blog! And he was right to do it.

You guys, I'm so weak. Apparently my arm musles have atrophied, or my body weight has tripled, or some horrible mixture thereof has occurred. The less I wear, the more I need Nair. My hair is falling out in unsightly clumps and I am now completely bald. An eagle pecked my throat out, so now I have to talk through one of those robot-voice-boxes. And I have an eye patch on both eyes. Also, my teeth just like, turned blue for some reason.

What the hell is going on with me?

Somebody, for the love of all that's holy, save what's left of this unsightly, fuzzy skull's dignity and say yes to me when I ask:
WILL YOU GO WITH ME TO SADIE HAWKINS?

So anyway, long story short, Sam Huntington could play Jason Mewes's brother if ever they had the opportunity to act together.

Just saying.