Just Call Me Michael Winslow Because I'm (THBP THBP Helicopter Noise) Getting Out Of Here!
Sometimes he's the only one who can make me happy.
Sometimes he's not.
Tess Cohen turning 20 makes me feel like I'm turning 20 again and should thereby blast my dear old smog out into the night. Why? Because smog has two songs about being nine[teen]ager. Double entendre? Not a real way to communicate two words? Ok, but maybe. Maybe.
Now all I can do is put m&ms in my coffee and see if they melt, which God Willing they will, since I really like m&ms today. Most days I don't even think about them, but today they're outrageous.
Today my friend jonathan told me about a nude model in his drawing class who had greasy fat man breasts and outrageous pubic hair. I liked the part about the "outrageous pubic hair." The m&ms coffee is gone, but the m&ms are still there. In the bottom. I shall divine them like Professor Trelawney!
Ick, bogey flavor!!
I've got the key to your heart...alohomora!
Here's a website for how to parent your teens with some good, old-fashioned Harry Potter know-how. Thank God someone finally had the presence of mind to publish this on the information superhighway - what was I supposed to do, buy the little nut a car and tell him he's grounded if he stays out past curfew?!!! I'm like, "GIVE ME A HARRY POTTER GUIDE, INTERNETS!!" And look at the grease a squeaky lil wheel gets for it.
Happy Bidet, Tess.
Sometimes he's not.
Tess Cohen turning 20 makes me feel like I'm turning 20 again and should thereby blast my dear old smog out into the night. Why? Because smog has two songs about being nine[teen]ager. Double entendre? Not a real way to communicate two words? Ok, but maybe. Maybe.
Now all I can do is put m&ms in my coffee and see if they melt, which God Willing they will, since I really like m&ms today. Most days I don't even think about them, but today they're outrageous.
Today my friend jonathan told me about a nude model in his drawing class who had greasy fat man breasts and outrageous pubic hair. I liked the part about the "outrageous pubic hair." The m&ms coffee is gone, but the m&ms are still there. In the bottom. I shall divine them like Professor Trelawney!
Ick, bogey flavor!!
I've got the key to your heart...alohomora!
Here's a website for how to parent your teens with some good, old-fashioned Harry Potter know-how. Thank God someone finally had the presence of mind to publish this on the information superhighway - what was I supposed to do, buy the little nut a car and tell him he's grounded if he stays out past curfew?!!! I'm like, "GIVE ME A HARRY POTTER GUIDE, INTERNETS!!" And look at the grease a squeaky lil wheel gets for it.
Happy Bidet, Tess.
posted by Becky at 6:03 PM
2 Comments:
I don't know what you're going for, but I think this Harry Potter encyclopedic site is better and more thorough.
I've always been a little disheartened by the "melts in your mouth not in your hand" M&M's motto because as a youth I took that as a challenge, and let me tell you on a hot summer day at Centinnial Olympic Park when you're 10 years old...those bitches melt in your hand. It was the first time I ever felt the pain of a broken heart...
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