Mostly Mozart
a) today on the way home, my subway had to bypass its stop at 66th because of a POLICE INVESTIGATION!!
b) a play.
HOW I ADORE THEE, YET BUT A SEED IN MY WOMB
WADE puts a sign on BECKY's back while they're at work. The sign reads "Caution! Baby on Board!" BECKY leaves it there because she likes signs on people's backs and fake pregnancy.
WADE: Wow, Becky, you better put those plates down. Gotta watch that heavy lifting!
GLORIA (fifty-something accountant, actually crazy): Why's she gotta watch the heavy lifting? Am I missin' something?
WADE: Look at her back, Gloria.
BECKY turns so GLORIA can read the sign
GLORIA: Caution baby on board. Oh, you're pregnant? (laughs a little)
BECKY: (beams) Yep.
GLORIA: (laughing a little less) Really? You're pregnant? (maintains frozen smile throughout)
BECKY: Yep! (pats stomach lightly)
GLORIA: Well, when's the baby due?
BECKY: August.
GLORIA: Wow, really? Oh, you got a long way to go. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? (still mildly bewildered)
BECKY: Nah, too early to tell.
GLORIA: Do you want to know? The sex of the baby?
BECKY: I kind of want to wait. Is that old-fashioned of me?
GLORIA: No, I hear lots of people these days wait. Haven't you seen the sonogram?
BECKY: A little.
GLORIA: Oh. How does your mother feel about all this?
BECKY: My mother? She's so happy! She's really ecstatic.
GLORIA: Yeah, I guess that's when having a mother comes in handy. You just drop the kids off with her and then she gives 'em back when she's sick of them!
BECKY: Yeah.
GLORIA: So when did you find out-
PETER (accountant assistant): She's not really pregnant, Gloria.
GLORIA: Oh. Well how was I supposed to know?
fin
c) that really happened. Pretty much word-for-word. The order is a little wrong, but everything in there happened today.
d) It smells a little like updoc in here.
e) What's up doc?
f) NOT MUCH, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
g) busted!!
b) a play.
HOW I ADORE THEE, YET BUT A SEED IN MY WOMB
WADE puts a sign on BECKY's back while they're at work. The sign reads "Caution! Baby on Board!" BECKY leaves it there because she likes signs on people's backs and fake pregnancy.
WADE: Wow, Becky, you better put those plates down. Gotta watch that heavy lifting!
GLORIA (fifty-something accountant, actually crazy): Why's she gotta watch the heavy lifting? Am I missin' something?
WADE: Look at her back, Gloria.
BECKY turns so GLORIA can read the sign
GLORIA: Caution baby on board. Oh, you're pregnant? (laughs a little)
BECKY: (beams) Yep.
GLORIA: (laughing a little less) Really? You're pregnant? (maintains frozen smile throughout)
BECKY: Yep! (pats stomach lightly)
GLORIA: Well, when's the baby due?
BECKY: August.
GLORIA: Wow, really? Oh, you got a long way to go. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? (still mildly bewildered)
BECKY: Nah, too early to tell.
GLORIA: Do you want to know? The sex of the baby?
BECKY: I kind of want to wait. Is that old-fashioned of me?
GLORIA: No, I hear lots of people these days wait. Haven't you seen the sonogram?
BECKY: A little.
GLORIA: Oh. How does your mother feel about all this?
BECKY: My mother? She's so happy! She's really ecstatic.
GLORIA: Yeah, I guess that's when having a mother comes in handy. You just drop the kids off with her and then she gives 'em back when she's sick of them!
BECKY: Yeah.
GLORIA: So when did you find out-
PETER (accountant assistant): She's not really pregnant, Gloria.
GLORIA: Oh. Well how was I supposed to know?
fin
c) that really happened. Pretty much word-for-word. The order is a little wrong, but everything in there happened today.
d) It smells a little like updoc in here.
e) What's up doc?
f) NOT MUCH, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
g) busted!!
posted by Becky at 8:38 PM
3 Comments:
they're always named gloria.
hahaha how WAS she supposed to know?
Speaking of Gloria I'm picturing Gloria Estefan, but not the real one. Really Jenifer Lopez playing her in a moive...kinda like Selena but Gloria Estefan...close?
i totally posted a comment like 2 days ago. i thought this post was awesome. that is hilarious. i wanted to say something like that, but more enthusiastically because I had just read this for the first time. thanks alot, blogger. AAAAH. haha
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