I'll Never Fall Asleep Again
I had two AWFUL dreams last night and I don't even want to THINK about them. Yet here they are:
a) I was taking a stand against some horrible public figure and the way to do it was apparently to destroy all his belongings and vandalize his car. And in order to get away with it, I was supposed to pour flammable stuff all over his engine and then throw myself in there (to burn myself alive so there would be no evidence). But I didn't realize that I would be burning myself alive until like, an hour before I was supposed to do it. So then I was running around trying to find sleeping pills so I could at least be asleep for it, and the whole time I was with my brother and I was like "I'm so sorry I'm so sorry" and then at the last minute I think I decided not to do it.
b) Then later, I was at the beach with a friend, and this huge wave came crashing down near us, making everyone realize that high tide was coming FAST. So we ran to safety (in some stranger woman's apartment), and we watched the waves from the window. There had been an island near the edge of the water, and its trees were all on fire, and then the island capsized. We could hear some guy swimming to safety yell "there's a...that man is dead!" and then we saw a dead body start sinking into the water.
Then we saw this other man with bandages all over his face on an inflatable raft, and he sort of tilted and looked like he was going to drown, but then he looked straight up at us and started swimming to the edge of the water, climbing up this cliff, climbing up buildings and balconies, and all the while staring at us. When he got really close to the stranger's apartment window, we backed away, but he came in through the front door and HELD US ALL HOSTAGE. At some point it came out that the stranger woman was his ex-girlfriend, and he was only mad at her. So I was all "can I go to the bathroom?" and he was like "fine" and on the way, I got my cell phone out of my purse to use in the bathroom. Only every time I called 911, it would ring through to a message system, ring through to some reggae music, or just ring once and then turn off. So I left a quick message and then came back out there.
We were hostages for a while, then the man left to negotiate with the stranger woman, and then while I was looking through her bedroom (which made me think she was an idiot), my cell phone rang as a remix of my 911 message and reggae and I was like JESUS, 911, COULD YOU BE ANY LESS HELPFUL?! Luckily the guy was out. That's all I remember.
So those were my dreams. And this is fruit paunch's sweater weather video - disregard how tremendously fat I look in the first part. Oh won't you please disregard that?!
In other news, I need a haircut. BACK TO YOU, BAD DREAMS.
a) I was taking a stand against some horrible public figure and the way to do it was apparently to destroy all his belongings and vandalize his car. And in order to get away with it, I was supposed to pour flammable stuff all over his engine and then throw myself in there (to burn myself alive so there would be no evidence). But I didn't realize that I would be burning myself alive until like, an hour before I was supposed to do it. So then I was running around trying to find sleeping pills so I could at least be asleep for it, and the whole time I was with my brother and I was like "I'm so sorry I'm so sorry" and then at the last minute I think I decided not to do it.
b) Then later, I was at the beach with a friend, and this huge wave came crashing down near us, making everyone realize that high tide was coming FAST. So we ran to safety (in some stranger woman's apartment), and we watched the waves from the window. There had been an island near the edge of the water, and its trees were all on fire, and then the island capsized. We could hear some guy swimming to safety yell "there's a...that man is dead!" and then we saw a dead body start sinking into the water.
Then we saw this other man with bandages all over his face on an inflatable raft, and he sort of tilted and looked like he was going to drown, but then he looked straight up at us and started swimming to the edge of the water, climbing up this cliff, climbing up buildings and balconies, and all the while staring at us. When he got really close to the stranger's apartment window, we backed away, but he came in through the front door and HELD US ALL HOSTAGE. At some point it came out that the stranger woman was his ex-girlfriend, and he was only mad at her. So I was all "can I go to the bathroom?" and he was like "fine" and on the way, I got my cell phone out of my purse to use in the bathroom. Only every time I called 911, it would ring through to a message system, ring through to some reggae music, or just ring once and then turn off. So I left a quick message and then came back out there.
We were hostages for a while, then the man left to negotiate with the stranger woman, and then while I was looking through her bedroom (which made me think she was an idiot), my cell phone rang as a remix of my 911 message and reggae and I was like JESUS, 911, COULD YOU BE ANY LESS HELPFUL?! Luckily the guy was out. That's all I remember.
So those were my dreams. And this is fruit paunch's sweater weather video - disregard how tremendously fat I look in the first part. Oh won't you please disregard that?!
In other news, I need a haircut. BACK TO YOU, BAD DREAMS.
posted by Becky at 1:23 PM
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