The Ballad of Ashby and Michael Moore, Or The Wait Is Over

One fine morning,
a dapper young lad
searched through Michigan
for fun to be had.

He walked around some,
-you know- effort was shown,
then he gave himself a break
and walked into Coldstone.

"I'll just eat some ice cream,
then get back to looking.
I'll probs find some hotties
who are so hot they're cooking."

But Ashby crapped his pants
when he entered the store;
The guy at the counter was
(who else?) ...Michael Moore!

So he marched up to this fatty,
all covered in fat -
interrupted his inhalation
of ice cream straight out of the vat

And Ashby said, "Hey Guy,
shake my hand NOW!"
So Moore shook his hand
and was fat as a cow.

Then Becky paused,
thinking "fat jokes aren't funny.
I shall stop before Moore finds me
and tries to dip me in honey [to eat me]."

So the point of the tale,
(a fable it's not)
is Ashby met Michael Moore;
his "cool" can't be bought.
Even though he was already cool before he met Michael Moore in Michigan.


NOW THAT THE BALLAD IS OVER:

Hey guys guess what

There were two songs I had stuck in my head during work today.

And, of course, I'm going to write them down right.....now.

Right.........NOW.

NOW:
1) "Castle on a Cloud" from Les Mis?
2) "Somebody's Getting Married" from The Muppets Take Manhattan

That's cool, whatever. Nobody laughs or talks too loud, not in my castle on a clouuuuuud.

Anybody know what "steakums" are? They PLAGUE me.

Here are the lyrics to "Somebody's Getting Married":
enjoy

Bear:
Extra! Extra! Somebody's getting married!
Bear 2:
Somebody's getting married? HEY, somebody's getting married!
Bear 3:
Whoa, somebody's getting married!
Pops:
Somebody's getting married???
Lew Zealand:
Somebody's getting marrrrieeeed!
Group:
Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting married! Somebody's getting
somebody's getting somebody's getting somebody somebody somebody
somebody...! [etc.]
Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Scooter:
Somebody get some flowers!
Somebody get a ring!
Somebody get a chapel and a choir to sing!
Kermit:
Somebody get an organ to play!
Singing Tuxedos:
'Cause somebody's getting married today!
[a bit of the 'end of ceremony' music played]

Miss Piggy, Janice, Camilla:
Somebody get a preacher!
Somebody bake a cake!
Somebody get some shoes and rice and presents to take!
Miss Piggy:
Somebody get a sweet negilee!
Singing Veils:
'Cause somebody's getting married today!

Swedish Chef:
Weddink! Weddink! Pig and froggie weddink!
Men:
Somebody get champagne!
Somebody rent a room!
Girls:
Somebody get the lovely bride!
And somebody get the-
Men:
Somebody get the-
[Kermit stumbles o.s here, obviously nervous, the rhyming word being
"groom" of course...]
Both:
Somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody--!
Female Voices:
Somebody get this wedding underway!
Swedish Chef:
Cus sue-one gettink marrink today!
[Musical bridge]
Bear Family:
Somebody getting married....today!
[In Church]

Ernie:
Are they here yet, are they here yet, did I miss it, am I late?
Bert:
No, they'll be here any minute!
Cookie Monster:
Oh boy, me can hardly wait.

Pops:
Isn't this exciting--it's the wedding of the year!
Sam The Eagle:
Well, can't we start without them?
Muppet News Anchorman:
No, you can't until they're here.
Sam: Hmm.

Chorus of Penguins:
They're fin-all-y getting ma-rrr-ied now!
[Musical bridge, sounds of wedding bells]

Miss Piggy:
He'll make me happy
Each time I see him
He'll be the reason
My heart can sing
He'll stand beside me
And I'll have everything.
Kermit:
She'll make me happy
Each time I hold her
And I will follow
where my heart may lead
And she'll be all I'll ever need

Babies:
Days go passing into years
Old Ladies:
Years go passing day by day.

Audience (audibly sobbing):
She'll make him happy
Now and forever
Until forever
their love will grow
She only knows
he'll make her happy
That's all she needs to know.
They'll be so happy
Now and forever
Until forever
their love will grow-

Miss Piggy:
I only know
He'll make me happy
That's all I need...to...know...

Fozzie: (whispering): Hey, Gonzo, I thought you were going to play the
priest...
Gonzo: (enthralled): Shhhh!
Priest:
Do you, Piggy, take this frog to be your lawful wedded husband--do you?
Miss Piggy:
I do...
Priest:
Do you Froggie take this Pig to be your lawful wedded wife until you die?
Kermit:
Well, I? Well....I...?
Priest:
Do you?
Kermit:
(gulp). I do...
Priest:
Then because you share a love so big
I now pronounce you frog and pig.
[The Kiss.]

Celebration, cheering from all the Muppets. Penguins evidently are tossed
or throw themselves across the aisle.

Kermit:
What better way could anything end?
Hand in hand with a friend.


I ONLY KNOW HE'LL MAKE ME HAPPY...THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW