Cup-Caker, Junior
It's that time again-
time to take out the old ledger, open it, look at it, and close it again.
And on the inside, you'll find the following printed in the finest cursive:
THE BEST "BEST OF 2005" LIST OF 2005!!
(that looks stupid)
(yeah, stupid hot)
1) yeah, Gabe's still got it. From his classy tortoiseshell interiors to his no-nonsense, inky black paintjob, Gabe Kotter continues to offer me and my passengers a ya-ya of a good time. The 1996 Camry's still got it. My best car of 2005.
2) I fell on the staircase of JJ's Place once and hit every step with my butt. Man, I was so drunk.
3) I assistant-stage-managed the Varsity Show, which ended up giving me life lessons and a raging case of my humps (which, coincidentally, is the best song of 2005). What? I don't get it.
4) the Ringer sure did work hard to get released. Let's hope Strangers with Candy: The Movie can find a similarly resilient spirit underneath its hilarious bottom-half-of-a-fat-suit.
5) My Humps
6) I got into Fruit Paunch and the Varsity Show, which I'm readily calling the Best Improv Group and Student-Produced Musical of 2005
7) Bloggy obviously remains Best Blog of 2005
8) Barnes & Noble Cafe = job. Of 2005. I'm not going to write about it.
9) Best Concert of 2005: Sleater-Kinney. SLEATER-KINNEY. sleater-kinney!
10) Two visits to Late Night with Conan O'Brien!
Best Conan Guests of 2005: Burt Reynolds and the New Pornographers.
Worst Conan Guests of 2005: everyone else (Kenny Chesney, Jamie Kennedy, Lara Flynn Boyle, some guy who actually was pretty good)
11) First Mono Scare
12) First c+ in the ol' grade book
13) The first time I went to Asssscat 3000, Dan and Colin and I walked into the show late. On the way, I remembered that Philippa had seen Will Arnett once when she went, so I told Dan and Colin that if I saw Will Arnett, I'd pee. Two seconds later, we got to the entrance and WHO WAS STANDING OUTSIDE SMOKING BUT GOB BLUTH HIMSELF! So hard, so hard not to say anything to him or look at him or pee. Then later on, he came in from smoking and sat on a bench five feet away from where I was standing. For all these reasons and more, Will Arnett earns the title of Best Celebrity of 2005.
14) There was a really good snow earlier this month
15) Best Murmured Comeback I've Said in 2005: "...stupid mom"
16) There was a really good weekend of parties right around Halloween this year. Halloween = Best Series of Parties of 2005.
17) In May I got this haircut that made me look like the lead singer of Whitesnake, which was AWESOME. Obviously Best Haircut of 2005.
18) Lunch at Rockefeller Center on Fridays = Best Fridays of 2005
19) "Shall We Pants, a never-ending breakfast one-act" = Best Play of 2005
20) Best Month of 2005? I'm not sure. March was okay, June was fine, and September was sort of nice. Maybe September or October. No, late November to early December. That's it - Late November to Early December was the best month of 2005. It's because I started not sucking at Fruit Paunch shows right around that time.
21) For Halloween, I dressed up as a Battered Woman. Best Costume of 2005, or possibly my life. I made fake bruises and running mascara and wore lingerie and everything. A bloodied nose and a black eye?! SURE!
22) I Heart Huckabees = Best Movie Seen in 2005 probably. I don't know for sure, but I'd be willing to post it as the Best Movie Seen in 2005 on some sort of list somewhere.
23) September 11th-17th: Best Birthday Weeklong Extravaganza of 2005. Turning 20 never felt so good!
2005 = best multiple of five of 2005.
HAPPY NEW YEAR IN A FEW DAYS!
from everyone here at my blog to you and yours
barf barf
etc
noisemakers and booze!
CORRECTION:
forget Burt Reynolds - I meant Tom Selleck. Damn this absent-mindedness!
(Here's who else I mix up:
Glenn Close & Meryl Streep
Gregory Hines & Richard Pryor)
time to take out the old ledger, open it, look at it, and close it again.
And on the inside, you'll find the following printed in the finest cursive:
THE BEST "BEST OF 2005" LIST OF 2005!!
(that looks stupid)
(yeah, stupid hot)
1) yeah, Gabe's still got it. From his classy tortoiseshell interiors to his no-nonsense, inky black paintjob, Gabe Kotter continues to offer me and my passengers a ya-ya of a good time. The 1996 Camry's still got it. My best car of 2005.
2) I fell on the staircase of JJ's Place once and hit every step with my butt. Man, I was so drunk.
3) I assistant-stage-managed the Varsity Show, which ended up giving me life lessons and a raging case of my humps (which, coincidentally, is the best song of 2005). What? I don't get it.
4) the Ringer sure did work hard to get released. Let's hope Strangers with Candy: The Movie can find a similarly resilient spirit underneath its hilarious bottom-half-of-a-fat-suit.
5) My Humps
6) I got into Fruit Paunch and the Varsity Show, which I'm readily calling the Best Improv Group and Student-Produced Musical of 2005
7) Bloggy obviously remains Best Blog of 2005
8) Barnes & Noble Cafe = job. Of 2005. I'm not going to write about it.
9) Best Concert of 2005: Sleater-Kinney. SLEATER-KINNEY. sleater-kinney!
10) Two visits to Late Night with Conan O'Brien!
Best Conan Guests of 2005: Burt Reynolds and the New Pornographers.
Worst Conan Guests of 2005: everyone else (Kenny Chesney, Jamie Kennedy, Lara Flynn Boyle, some guy who actually was pretty good)
11) First Mono Scare
12) First c+ in the ol' grade book
13) The first time I went to Asssscat 3000, Dan and Colin and I walked into the show late. On the way, I remembered that Philippa had seen Will Arnett once when she went, so I told Dan and Colin that if I saw Will Arnett, I'd pee. Two seconds later, we got to the entrance and WHO WAS STANDING OUTSIDE SMOKING BUT GOB BLUTH HIMSELF! So hard, so hard not to say anything to him or look at him or pee. Then later on, he came in from smoking and sat on a bench five feet away from where I was standing. For all these reasons and more, Will Arnett earns the title of Best Celebrity of 2005.
14) There was a really good snow earlier this month
15) Best Murmured Comeback I've Said in 2005: "...stupid mom"
16) There was a really good weekend of parties right around Halloween this year. Halloween = Best Series of Parties of 2005.
17) In May I got this haircut that made me look like the lead singer of Whitesnake, which was AWESOME. Obviously Best Haircut of 2005.
18) Lunch at Rockefeller Center on Fridays = Best Fridays of 2005
19) "Shall We Pants, a never-ending breakfast one-act" = Best Play of 2005
20) Best Month of 2005? I'm not sure. March was okay, June was fine, and September was sort of nice. Maybe September or October. No, late November to early December. That's it - Late November to Early December was the best month of 2005. It's because I started not sucking at Fruit Paunch shows right around that time.
21) For Halloween, I dressed up as a Battered Woman. Best Costume of 2005, or possibly my life. I made fake bruises and running mascara and wore lingerie and everything. A bloodied nose and a black eye?! SURE!
22) I Heart Huckabees = Best Movie Seen in 2005 probably. I don't know for sure, but I'd be willing to post it as the Best Movie Seen in 2005 on some sort of list somewhere.
23) September 11th-17th: Best Birthday Weeklong Extravaganza of 2005. Turning 20 never felt so good!
2005 = best multiple of five of 2005.
HAPPY NEW YEAR IN A FEW DAYS!
from everyone here at my blog to you and yours
barf barf
etc
noisemakers and booze!
CORRECTION:
forget Burt Reynolds - I meant Tom Selleck. Damn this absent-mindedness!
(Here's who else I mix up:
Glenn Close & Meryl Streep
Gregory Hines & Richard Pryor)
posted by Becky at 2:01 PM
1 Comments:
how could you forget tom selleck??!!
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