What's Amore

I also made a movie with Walt

It's Time To Turn It Around

guys, doesn't it feel like this has been SO FUCKING BORING TO READ lately? I feel it does.

So I'm going to put down on paper all the things I can think of right now that would be insanely fun to read:



I'm doing a play-a-day this month! (though it's not going well)

I DRANK OUT OF A BLUE MARTINI GLASS (alone in my room last night)

i stand to inherit a typewriter (in a few years)

I got a new planner?

bleep bloop

might get a haircut, might not

I HAVEN'T WASHED THE SHORTS I'M WEARING FOR OVER THREE MONTHS (and I wear them a lot)

ok great that was it. Are you happy now?
I'm still not.


Irregardless - we're shakin' things up around here!

Neighborhood Listen

Hey guys, here's the Gwinnett County police dispatch.

My cat burgling career almost to fruition!

Hittin' The Airwaves!

click me to hear the second half of my radio show that I have with Laura K!

(it's a talk show, so that's why no music.)
(Also, it's a nostalgia show, so that's why you might be thrilled by our very precise, very esoteric subject matter.)

Never Have I Had A Stupider Time Being Sick

-my tonsils hurt and are the size of gumballs
-when I swallow, I want to die
-my ears have been stuffed for a week
-for the past two mornings, I've woken up with like, hardened crap at the threshold between my throat and my mouth and IT'S TOO RIDICULOUS TO GO AWAY
-even soup doesn't help
-I went to the doctor and it's not even strep.

So then what is it?
You tell me. Seriously, anybody reading this who's a doctor or something, go for it. You'll find the comments section below. What is my ailment? How can it get better, other than taking robitussin? Is it honestly that bad for me to take more than one cough drop every hour?

ow, my throat.

Let My Love Open The Door To Your House

NOTHING GOING, HUH?
unless:
1) went to a smallish dinner party at phil and grace's
3) drew a lot of bruises on my right leg, under my right eye
4) REALLY LIKE the "p" section of artists on my itunes
2) did you realize emma thompson and alan rickman (professors Trelawney and Snape, respectively) were married in Love Actually? I just realised. You're welcome for spelling it that way, England.
e) Do you say it peter CETera or peter ceTERa? I want to say it like et cetera, but I hear the bigwigs at vh1 and whatever going like ceTERa. In related news, a lot of the time when I hear about Michael Cera (the biggest star in the hollywood sky), I think of peter cetera. similar last names, you see.
13) before I drew the bruises, I did a lovely smokey eye effect so I could then put eye drops in my eyes and cry all the makeup down my face. It took FOREVER but was eventually worth it.



oh my God this is the funniest thing the internet has offered up to me all night. That baby must've really been asking for it.

I'm From Barcelona Is What The Polyphonic Spree Should Have Been And Maybe Was At First

I'm so serious. I'm much happier with I'm From Barcelona. Light & Day was cool and everything, especially in that vw commercial, but basically every song I hear from I'm from Barcelona makes me very, very happy.

Check this one out, for instance: listen to "britney," which plays automatically

THEY DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT YOU!
I'M GONNA GET A TATTOO
'CAUSE GIRL I WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOU!

got to:
a) take a shower
b) think about and enjoy the fact that I'm wearing cowboy boots
c) balance this charger-top on this upright blue pen!! CHECK
d) finish the following books:
i) 1919
ii) long day's journey into night
which are from my claybaugh class
e) somehow get my friends to plan new trips to their tristate area vacation-perfect homes, since I missed both that happened this week
f) edit the video I made with josh yesterday, wherein we play two young urban professionals on a date and josh ends up splashing my face with a lot of water because my food was too hot!
g) sell four books online (The Rise of Silas Lapham, The Te of Piglet, Christianity & Culture, and Sister Carrie.)
h) give them to you for free if you want them, since we're friends and all. How could I charge you for a book?
i) though I will say that one of them is a Norton Critical Edition, which is pretty high-class, if you ask anyone in the literary world.
j) pick up my netflix
k) start working at conan again, after a two-week hiatus
l) call mark krotov because it's been too long
m) buy josh ice cream because I lost a bet. Did you know that "I am the very model of a modern major general" is from Pirates of Penzance, not HMS Pinafore? He did.

Grasshopper cookies by the keebler elves taste just like thin mints and look like them, too!

Scene It? But I Just Met It

STATUS REPORT: Operation Switch Rooms
-going swimmingly
-I put up curtains
-candle necessary because of weird smell
-intimidated by the wall of cinderblock painted white
-warmly greeted by plaster wall (thumbtacks having the time of their lives!)
-412 is nicely divisible, even, et alia

STATUS REPORT: New Pornographers Tomorrow
-omg omg omg omg
-gotta bring bug spray
-I've eaten more sandwiches this summer than ever before in my life. I should get more sit-ups in.
-here wait, I'll do some now
-oh my great God in heaven I think my muscles have atrophied
-seriously that was the single most difficult, emotionally trying thing I've done in months
-is that green army jacket the only thing keeping you warm tonight?
-I just did apple-paste to see what the last thing I copied was. Do you know where that's from?
-it's from when nick andopolis makes up a song for lindsay weir on Freaks & Geeks

STATUS REPORT: My Stomach
-OW SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT YOU JUST DID TO ME, BECKY?

bye!

Challenge Extended

I woke up this morning saying, "well what's the answer?...what do you call something with black and white stripes and three heads?"
Apparently I dreamt the set-up but woke up before the punchline. Your challenge: PUNCH ME UP A PUNCHLINE SO I CAN FEEL SANE AGAIN, PLEASE!

I went back to lost planet today to watch a music video I got to be in. The one I was talking about before. It was so great, I almost cried. Oh how I love to watch myself on television! You would, too. You probably already have.

I just moved into a single room! 안녕, old-what's-your-name!

ALSO I wanted to tell you that I watched The Money Pit last night, and it knocked my socks off. That part when he's a ghost? Oh Lordy!



안녕 = goodbye.