What A Strange Thing To Say As You Pass Me On Your Way Out

“Mercifully, most animals would have fallen unconscious as the temperatures rose and never felt the fire bursting out in the bushes and trees around them.”
David A. Kring and Daniel D. Durda, “The Day the World Burned.” Scientific American 2003.

We'll Say Something New! Something New!

It's snowing again and March is nearly upon us.
I miss you already, February. I always have a place for you because you're the shortest and therefore most endearing month. I don't care that you usually bring me bone-crushingly cold weather and that farce we call "Valentine's Day." I don't love you because I overlook these grievances - I love you because of them. I can go inside when it's cold, and I can shit on Valentine's Day if I feel like it, all the while knowing that you are always February and sometimes you grace me with an extra day. February, you're my friend. February, you're the best month I know. Are you friends with May? I always thought that was a good month, too. Sometimes do you get to hang out with November and December? They seem av.

H. Jon Benjamin = human version

I'm Boots. I just shot you.

av = genuinely cool
n'av = not cool at all; toolish.
Inspired by Avril Lavigne's persona. Oddly enough, Avril herself is n'av. It's funny how things work out.

Listen to the Concretes and sleep through Lit Hum! Do it!

Mike Show Dream

I had a dream last night that Michael Showalter was on campus and somehow I offended him so he was walking really slowly off of the campus until I won him back by telling him interesting things about random kids passing by. I was all "Mike, wait! uhh you...you see that guy? He has a girlfriend! ha-ha isn't that funny? And that girl? She..." blah blah I can't remember what I said. Then I grabbed this guy who was walking past me to make Michael Showalter laugh. And eventually he did laugh, once I had climbed to the the top of the passer-by and practically sat on his shoulders.

So then Mike Show revealed to me that he had some kind of thing (radio show? party? organized something?) on campus and it was in front of Butler and so we hung out there for a while - I'd say that Overall, the dream was a TRIUMPH because I made Michael Showalter laugh. Take THAT, Corporate America!

Chris: I Bought A Skirt For $1.99 At Urban

I'm sorry - maybe you guys didn't see what I just posted:

look below

Seventeen May

Look for it.

Look for the drop.

May 17th - Nickelodeon releases its "Rewind Collection."
What's the Rewind Collection?

It's everything we've ever hoped for!
1) The Adventures of Pete & Pete
2) Clarissa Explains It All
3) Salute Your Shorts
4) Are You Afraid of the Dark?
5) You Can't Do That on Television!
...all on dvd

MAY SEVENTEENTH, GUYS. MAY 17.

I'LL SEE YOU IN LINE AT BEST BUY.

If I Say It Enough, I'll Believe That It's Not My Fault

Events of Thursday Evening:

1) I'm eating at John Jay!

2) I'm showering in the communal shower!

3) I'm watching the OC?

4) Philo?

5) I'm going to see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

6) It's that much better the second time.

7) I rotate the end-punctuation!

8) Mark and I try to do a crossword online!

9) We decide to take a walk, instead?

10) We write "Fokk" really big in the snow?

11) We bring shoes to Taylor at the Spectator news office.

12) I yell "Stop the Presses!" without even realizing that that was Katherine's last blog entry title.

13) It's okay to yell in the office because it's 2 am!

14) We explore the creepy, haunted 15th floor of the dorm - even the elevators don't go there!

15) We download a trivia game from Yahoo and play it for a while back in Mark's room?

16) I leave when Taylor gets back?

17) I hang out with Don.

18) I watch the first three minutes of Wet Hot American Summer with commentary ON.

19) I fall asleep!

20) I wake up at 3 pm today!

So that's what happened. Just the facts, ma'am. I'm still tired. If I were awake at 11:30, I could have gotten a free magazine subscription from my Aunt Laura. DAMN this sleeping, son!

Yes sir - I damn thee.

Don't You Live Alone - Try To Earn What Lovers Own

Slowly and deliberately, I am beginning to really enjoy Fencing. We wore masks today for the first time and learned how to salute and boy oh boy is this getting good.

Last night I cut out a bunch of letters and taped them to my window, which faces Ruggles, which is where Addison lives, which is why the letters I put up spell out "Addison can you see this?"
And do you want to know what?
He Could.

Nowhere near on par with the Trash Salad, though.

Weekend is coming! It is upon us! Three more classes and I'm through, through with it all, just through through through.

I just found two eyelashes on the keyboard. That can't be good.

Composed during the walk back to dorm from fencing:
Joanne: The Cleats! I saw his cleats! How is that man's hair blowing? It's too sunny to be windy. He smokes, I smoke. See, dude? Haha look at me I'm smoking. mimes smoking, blows out foggy breath from cold air Well that's over. Why the helicopters today? Why not use cleats on that field? Why can't I remember the last time I had a hot dog? Why did I throw up that foot-long hot dog from Sam's Club when I was 7? Why did I start thinking about hot dogs? Why- pair of soccer cleats, tied together at laces, flies out of nowhere and hits her on the face. Joanne falls instantly and lies on ground for a while. Cigarette guy throws his cigarette on the ground next to her and walks off campus, buying a hot dog at the corner of 114th and Broadway.

fin

Come On, Molly Shannon - You're Eighth Grade!

Guess what losers:
Katherine's going into business making funny shirts (none of that urban outfitters garbage (which no one finds funny)). And she's making me one that says "Oh man this is on par with the trash salad!" which is funny because it's only funny to me.

But why don't I give you guys the backstory anyway:
So Katherine and I were hanging out in the lounge one day senior year and we saw a salad sitting on top of a pile of trash in the garbage can. The salad was in its original container and it hardly looked eaten, so naturally we got it out of the trash and gave it to Cap'n Connor (our favorite English teacher/college counselor) to eat in his office. "Eat it," we told him. "Just eeeaaaat it." Even though it took like twenty minutes, and even though we were laughing hysterically the whole time, he eventually ate some. HE ATE FOOD THAT CAME OUT OF THE TRASH. He was mad at us for a long time after we told him where the salad came from.

I certainly hope you guys are laughing as hard as I am at this.

Consider the fact that the salad never actually came into contact with garbage...see? It's not so bad.

ALSO: everyone tune into WBAR Barnard College Radio (you can listen from the internet, somehow) between 8-9 am next wednesday to listen to Dave & Dave with Hector and Grace grant my track request. Yes, their show runs until 10, and yes, you should listen to that part, too - BUT - I have class at 9 so it's really the pre-9 o'clock hour that will give you "Half Breed" by Cher.


Dancing outside the gym, after the breakup
Kelly: sniffle Can we still be friends?
Zack: Forever.

Plans, Plus My Super-Cool Popular Friend Fran

Am I late, or is the rest of the world just early?

LISTEN UP, JANET WEISS:
a) home for Spring Break over the period of Saturday 3/12 (afternoonish) to Wednesday 3/16 (late evening). So make your plans now, and make them good.
FYI- half birthday on March 13th. Consider.

b) Put on either Quasi or Sleater-Kinney, turn down everything else (find a way), and listen only to Janet's drumming. DO IT.

c) Katherine said 2 (TWO!) pertinent things in her art history lecture today and the teacher said "Good Question" to one of them...in front of 150 of her peers (and rivals)...nice one, friend 'o' friends.

d) Make 'Em Laugh! Make 'Em Laugh!

e) Does anyone else miss Gene Kelly? I was in love with him for a while after I saw What A Way To Go!...platonically, of course. I wished he was my dance-teacher or something.

f) Oh Sandra Dee... there's nothing I can say.

g) Potential Future Job: naming things. Like movies. Trust me, I'm good at it. Coach Farter, anyone?

h) I feel bad about something I've written in this post, but what is it? I don't know!!

i) Don't you hate when you feel like you've messed up and you don't know why?

j) I'm ending it here before I start to feel worse.

(Ladies and gentlemen of the city council, I'm just a caveman; I fell in some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me. When I see your tall buildings and flashing neon signs, sometimes I just want to get away as fast as I can to my place in Martha's Vineyard. I'm more at home hunting the woolly mammoth than I am hunting a good interior decorator. And when I see a solar eclipse like the one I went to last year in Hawaii, I think "oh no! Is the moon eating the sun?" I don't know! Because I'm a caveman - that's the way I think.)

Three Minutes

The three-minute post!
(should already be on my way to Italian)

FIND MY BABY, Moby!!!!!!

uh oh two minutes left...where did the time go?

1) mechanical pencil that looks like a real pencil (yellow with twist-up top thing)
2) box of tissues
3) empty liter of bottled water
4) phone
5) mouse ipod-cover
6) strangers with candy Season I
7) papers papers papers
8) of course, laptop

(things on my desk)

one minute left

1) on back of each arm, above the elbow
2) on right leg, from falling down an entire flight of stairs
3) on thigh, from when Don "flying kneed" me

(places on the body where I have bruises)

no fencing this morning, italian quiz now, then music theory midterm...you don't care and neither do I.

TIME

What Won't I Do?

1) Send Max the reading from class this morning
--I enjoy Max because he has every Belle & Sebastian album on his music library, which I can access from my computer, as we live in the same building.

2) Midterms, quizzes tomorrow and many days after

3) Housing Informational Meeting tonight

4) I should shower
--first half of the day was spent in just-out-of-bed attire
--aka the shirt I slept in, some pants I found on the floor, unmatched shoes, a monocle?!

5) I love to stretch out my back by leaning way back in my chair
--crack crack crack

6) Cats are SO stupid

7) There's really no more,

EXCEPT

IT SNOWED AGAIN LAST NIGHT!!
AAAIII AI AI AIIIIIIIII
(did that sound like Charro?)
(because I meant it to)
(coo-chee coo-chee)

I'll leave you with this:
(from the Magnetic Fields' "Acoustic Guitar")

Acoustic guitar, if you think I play hard,
Well you could have belonged to Steve Earle
Or Charro or Gwar - I could sell you tomorrow

So bring me back my girl
You'd better bring me back my girl

Swing That Line!

Frontiers Problem Set, worth 10% of grade?
pssshhhhhhh

I Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself, by Elton John?
No thanks

Anyone remember Adventures In Babysitting?
and how!

May This Weekend Never End!
optative subjunctive?

What DOES a fool believe?
Whatever it is, he sees it. And it's back in her long-ago.

If you show him that you care just for him, do the things he likes to do, wear your hair just for him, you will be his.
...So consider it.

I'm Glad That We're Not Arguing Anymore

One morning not too long ago, I left my dorm and walked outside listening to the theme from "Doogie Howser, MD."
(highly suggested)
ACTUALLY, that was the song I was listening to the first time I saw Julia Stiles.
Who cares about real-life stars when you've got memories of NPH dancing in your head?

For Amanda:
Shall We Pants, a never-ending breakfast one-act

Amanda sits in her room atop her 8-ft-high lofted bunk bed. She lowers her foot three feet down from the bed, pulls it back up, tries again, and then frets for a while.

Amanda: worriedly, fretting ehhhh hhhhhh uhhhh I....can't....get....down

Cristy: groans as she crawls down hall to Amanda's room

Amanda: flies out of bed, floats down to floor Cristy is that you?! Let's go eat some lunch, you dirty ho!

Cristy: arrives in room, groaning I...caaaaan't....aughghhh

Amanda: What the hell is it this time?! I'm hungry!

Cristy: I just can't, okay?

Dana: angrilyYou people-

Amanda: Oh, is it...that?

Cristy: visibly upset ...Yes! Look, I have to go, ok?!

Dana: anger has turned into passion-make me want to la-la-

Cristy runs out of the room and trips at the threshold, falling flat on her face. She lies there, motionless, for duration.

Dana: vanishes

Amanda: Better call Becky...
picks up phone, dials number, waits patiently
Hey it's Amanda!
No...Amanda MENG.
wait wait stop Becky: A) I'm sure you know some asian Amandas, and B) I'm of Germanic descent. It's Amanda from high school, remember? At Georgia Tech now? "She was a Big Wohman?" Remember?
Yeah that's the one!
Oh nothing, just wanted see what's up.
My day? It's been fine. I wanted to go to lunch, but Cristy didn't feel well because she had a sausage for breakfast this morning.
That's right, she had a sausage so she doesn't feel well.
Well I'm sorry you feel that way.
click

Becky: in New York, hanging upside-down on a jungle gym on some playground Well THAT was weird.

Cristy: in Atlanta. Stomach rumbles from sausage

fin


Yeah I can theoretically do better, but I needed to get it out there for an old friend.
Earth Girl, this one's for you.

When You're Feeling Love's Unfair... You Just Ask The Lonely!

you know, there's a line in there that I always thought went
"We could be happy"
but
it turns out the line is
"with every heartbeat."

I like mine INFINITELY better.

Anyways, other news:
1) CONAN!
2) Cleaning room (oh-so-needed)
3) Varsity Show Preview at West End tonight - New York readers, REGULATE!
4) hmmmm Journey = instant good time
5) I'm not even sitting down!
6) Useless Lunar Gala people at school...wouldn't help out with some much-needed helium...if I didn't have reason to resent an entire group of people before...
7) jk racism ain't cool
8) or is it?
9) No it's not; I learned my lesson from the Fed last year - I'm no racist
10) except for the fact that EVERYONE'S a racist if they acknowledge the existence of races.
11) That's right folks - acknowledgment of race = racism
12) So everyone just get off my back already
13) sheesh
14) I'm Brian Fellow!

Well, screw you guys - I'm going home.

Thoughts Upon Celebrities In General

They're neat I guess.
Here are the famous people I have seen today:
1) Julia Stiles again (on the way to class)
2) Brian McCann (the writer who does "Preparation H Raymond") (who looked right at me for minutes on end during audience warm-up)
3) Max Weinberg & Max Weinberg Seven (including La Bamba and Pender)
4) CONAN O'BRIEN (I flipped out...he came out to that Elvis entry music and I flipped a shit and screamed the way I scream on a roller coaster when I can't stop screaming)
5) Tom Selleck (mustachioed, just turned 60) (you'll find this out later) (watch the show)
6) Jamie Kennedy
DID I SAY CONAN O'BRIEN?
7) Kenny (vomit) Chesney (hardly a celebrity)
8) Robert Smigel!!! (who (after the show) showed the audience this "Access Hollywood" clip with Triumph and Billy Bush getting ready for the Grammys that "Access Hollywood" never used)


I can't believe I actually went to Late Night with Conan O'Brien. I'm still going crazy. I had to pee throughout the whole taping. The set is so much smaller than you'd think. Seriously, try to imagine how much smaller it is in real life than on tv, and then let your imagination get dashed to the ground when I tell you it was much smaller than that.

I'm so surprised nothing went wrong - we took all the right trains, stood in all the right lines, had no security hold-ups, blah blah blah I can't believe I was fifty feet away from CONAN O'BRIEN
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

Tomorrow I'm calling to book some more tickets. I wonder if you can book tickets while you still have tickets on reserve. I'm also making big plans to go see Letterman, The Daily Show, Regis & Kelly Lee, and whatever-the-hell-else tapes in New York.

CONAN O'BRIEN! I SAW HIM! HE WAVED TO PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME! He didn't see me at all.

Poor Jamie Kennedy told this awful anecdote about some english chap in Australia who was always around. You could feel the unfunniness all throughout the studio...it was like a car crash. Look for his dumb yellow shoes.

Also look for the Eisenhower mug on the edge of Conan's desk. I thought that meant they were doing another entry in the Eisenhower Mug Diary, but no - no it didn't mean that.

PS Don't even try to look for me in the audience - I don't think they panned us at all. Maybe they caught some of the people sitting right behind the band...
but I'll tell you what I was wearing just in case...a navy blue cardigan with spaced-out horizontal stripes, each one descending chromatically (according to the rainbow) and a white t-shirt underneath. And you all know of my hair and face. Still have brown hair. Face Lift settling nicely. Black eye not healed up as nicely as I would have liked. Mustache sort of stubby. Should have shaved.

I love Tom Selleck and I couldn't see Joel in his booth and I feel pretty damn good about Robert Smigel...
but
most
of
all
I
love
love
love
CONAN O'BRIEN.

CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN CONAN O'BRIEN!

I Should Be Drying The Hair!

Watch Conan tonight...
and look for a girl who looks like me in the audience...
BECAUSE IT'S ME, BABY!

Also look for Alison and Hannah.

We're cool. So is the Cone-Zone.

Meant to be.

12:30 tonight NBC after that Leno guy.

WATCH!!!!

I Got Some Ice Cream...You On The Welfare...You Can't Afford It

(title is to be sung a la 8-year-old asshole) (as impersonated by Eddie Murphy) (in his younger days)


Cold, cold heart
Hard-done by you
Some things look better, baby
Just passing through

It's no sacrifice.
It's no sacrifice!
It's no sacrifiiiiiice at all

No originality here, folks!

But Guess What IS Here!
Me! And my Coke Is It! shirt!

I hope Katherine doesn't contract Lock Jaw.
What's with UGA giving her all these ailments?
1) Severely swollen feet from ant bites
2) Cold sores
3) Mysterious cuts
4) Lock Jaw
5) I'm guessing Gangrene is next?
6) Where do I keep getting these bruises on my arm?!

Hey, remember that whole "Band of Gold" fixation? That was a weird one.

Don't you know that I wait in the darkness of a lonely room?
Love me, like you tried before!

She Can't Be Convicted; She's Earned Her Degree

Bumble & Bumble doesn't just give out haircuts for free, you know...Or Do They?!
Yes, they can in some cases.

Hannah is fun and silky-haired. She reminds me of a hip city lady with everything together, even though she acts like the world's going bonkers! Ashby has the physique of a romanesque statue who wears sandals (for some reason...why?! why?! why sandals?!!).

Guys, guys, guys, guys

guys, guys

GUYS!
listen--

I. Can't. Do. The. Work. I. Have. To. Do.

What work?
1) Frontiers of Science homework questions
----side note: we got shushed in lecture today...by a student. That's rough. And uncalled for.
2) Italian workbook exercises and studying and all types of junk.
----Accidenti!
----(Damn!)

Guys guys just calm down. I'm going to eat a bunch of junior mints, get a little jittery, and then get this party started!

(What party?)

The Soul Man, Myaaaan

Did you guys know that C. Thomas Howell was married to Rae Dawn Chong for a while, making him Tommy Chong's son-in-law?

The Gates In Central Park

On the cab ride to dinner tonight, the taxi driver asked me why I thought women didn't want to marry cab drivers. He asked me this after talking nonstop for twenty minutes in a language I couldn't recognize.

Cabbie: talking other language other language blah blah twenty minutes Hey you tell me why women don't wnaoiadffmmmmivers?

Me: I'm sorry?

Cabbie: Tell me why you think women dommmatticdrivers?

Me: Why women don't like dramatic drivers?

Cabbie: Why. women. don't. want. to. marry. taxi. drivers.

Me: Thinking Geez, I have no idea.

Cabbie: She says I'm not home enough! I'm home all the time! I get home, I don't go anywhere, I stay with my family. I stayed home with my wife for thirty years until she dies, and now I can't find a woman because they all say drivers are away all the time-

Me: Yeah maybe that's it-

Cabbie: And then all the women say they can't find a good man but all I want to do is find a good woman-

Me: I guess it's hard for everybody. And sometimes it's just hard to realize that.

Cabbie: Yeah well I guess so.

Me: Can you make a turn here and drop me off? Thanks.

fin

By: Freddie

I go out to work on Monday morning
Tuesday I go off to honeymoon
I’ll be back again before it’s time for sunnydown
I’ll be lazing on a Sunday afternoon
Bicycling on every Wednesday evening
Thursday I go waltzing to the zoo
I come from London town
I’m just an ordinary guy
Fridays I go painting in the Louvre
I’m bound to be proposing on a Saturday night
There he goes again
I’ll be lazing on a Sunday lazing on a Sunday
Lazing on a Sunday afternoon

The Lost Night

11-1:30
Th-th-thumper at Mona
Se fue bien.

1:30-some time
Tom's Restaurant

Post Tom's
Stomach going to explode!

Sleep for 10 hours, stomach doesn't explode, have dream that I forgot to confirm my Conan tickets so now I can't go.

Don't worry: I CAN STILL GO.

Do worry: The guests are Tom Selleck, Jamie Kennedy, and Kenny Chesney.

I guess I'm psyched about Tom Selleck? Let's just hope he hasn't shaved in a while.

She's Sleeping With Prince Valium Tonight

Events:

dining hall breakfast

psych study...earned a kit-kat and chose to invest the $10 I had the chance to take.

made big plans for yielding around $18 in about 4 weeks

between 3 and 5 = mystery hours

dining hall dinner with vishal

ate an apple tart...with peaches in it?!

shower

tv with the floor

housing research with vishal

put makeup on to go get mail from Lerner

received letter from mom; it is composed only of phone bill and credit card bill

back in room, 10:25, nothing to do.

this is the fastest and most depressing weekend ever.
at least I'll get to see my little cousins in a few days:
Michael, who looked and talked like michael from Finding Neverland way before that kid ever did,
&
Jack, with his insanely white-blonde hair, who kicked through a board in Soo Bahk Do two weeks ago.

I just looked in my mirror and for a split second I looked like Lydia from Beetle Juice.

I'm Real Sorry Your Mom Blew Up, Ricky

UUUauuugggghhhhhauaahghghghghhghghgh

You know that scene from Better Off Dead where John Cusack has a bad time in class? Where the crazy subway ghost from Ghost is the math teacher and all the other kids are like cheering the whole time and begging to be called on to do geometry problems on the board? And John Cusack is the only one who's like "oh man this class is killing me," that is, until the teacher asks for term papers and (as all the other kids pull out like reams and reams of paper) John Cusack looks at his blank sheet of legal pad paper and thinks "well, shit"? THAT WAS MY ENTIRE DAY.

Mostly just Music Theory, though. Everyone was all "ooooh ooooh pick me...it's an augmented fourth! No wait- it's a diminished fifth a-ha!" Everyone has turned into Horshack except me. Mr. Holland (the teacher) (that's not really his name, but he reminds me so much of Mr. Holland's Opus) had everyone sing this complicated scale pattern thing and by the end everyone was like dancing and laughing and singing their hearts out...

everyone except me, because I was too busy counting out my pulse every few minutes. I maintained a level of 63 bpm for most of class. That's the lowest my heartrate has ever been - I think that class actually was draining life out of me.

But the good news is...

...

(give me a second to think)

I can sleep until 4 in the afternoon tomorrow if I so chose?
Yeah I guess that's the good news.

Here's what has calmed me down:
the songs iTunes plays:
in the P section of artists:
1) Sussudio (Phil Collins)
2) It's Magic (Pilot)
3) One Line (PJ Harvey)
4) Hey Sandy (Polaris)

So really it's not so bad.

Is There A Town In North Ontario?

To do (or, ta-da!):
a) write composition for Italian (no sweat)
b) do multitude of busywork things for Italian (some sweat)
c) busywork for Music Theory (complicated sweat)
d) Varsity Show rehearsal (dancer sweat)
e) absolutely. nothing. else.

What a free and easy afternoon I have ahead of me!

PS Wrote a paper last night and almost did another all-nighter, but then I realized I could still get four and a half hours of sleep before class - why waste that? Additionally, I set my alarm early so I could do the snooze button like ten times and I ended up having this wacky, cloudy dream where I played several different kinds of music as I woke up.

It was Awesome.
(helpless helpless hellllllpless)

Yeah, Yeah It's True

Guys!

You guys!

It finally happened and I can barely remember it so I'll type quickly -
I
Saw
Julia
Stiles
on
campus
(finally).

So by now we're probably, like, best friends or something? So look out for me in her newest movie, A Little Trip To Heaven. I'm practically guaranteed a cameo now. (That actually is her next movie to come out.)

I've heard second-hand accounts for too long! Now I have my own! I wonder why Columbia's bookstore hasn't printed up "I Saw Julia" t-shirts. We'd make millions!

So Jazzed!

Are You Guys Crazy?!?!?!!

What if I told you that I have a lot on my mind?

What if I said to you, "Do you have any idea where you're living, what you're doing, or how you'll do it in the years to come?"

What if we tried to play a duet and didn't match up at all?

What if I didn't have that sushi for lunch today?

What would happen if I took another nap in the library?

How are we going to deal with all of this?

Me Falled To Sleep In The Libarry

It's true. I did fall asleep in the library, sitting in a chair, in the middle of the third floor circulation desk area. I was reading Dante's Inferno and I just couldn't help it. And boy was it a great nap.

It's so hard to be awake after a nap, though.

There was so much work for me to do today. I did very little of it. So little, in fact, that you could argue the point that I didn't do any work today.

But guess what: "Kiss On My List" by Hall & Oates is followed by "A Wink and a Smile" by Harry Connick, Jr. on my iTunes. So I got that going for me, which is nice. Trust me, to Becky it is nice.

Radio Shack is pissy and Duane Reade is a jerk. Remember that for future shopping plans. D'Agostino is just some lady I don't care about, but who sometimes walks really slowly in front of me.

I talked to my cousin Ali yesterday for the first time in a long time. It was very good. Once when we were little, we switched seats in a Japanese restaurant so many times that the owners asked our party to leave.

"I fainted, as if I had met my death.
And then I fell as a dead body falls."

Anything But That

Wow to what lengths will I go to avoid doing work?

I CAN'T START WORK.

The Brief Recap

I get the feeling that I need to recap the songs that I've listened to MANY TIMES OVER this week. Why? Because you need to know what I've been obsessed with. Especially today. I'll start the recap list with the song I've been obsessed with today:

1) "Evil" by Interpol. If you guys have iTunes, I'd suggest that you watch the music video for this song in the Music Store. If not, maybe google can help out. There's this creepy puppet guy singing the song after a car crash, which sounds sinister yet somehow isn't that creepy. So I started by watching the video like four times, and now I listen to the song about five times an hour. Usually consecutively. Because it's amazing and it forces me to shake my head around and stand up and stomp my feet and go crazy.

2) "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani. Meh whatever. It's enjoyable and I love singing along when she says "oooh it's my shit, it's my shit." Nowhere even close to the "Evil" fixation. It's good shit, though. It's my shit.

3) "Danny's Song" sung by Anne Murray. Lordy I was crazy for this one for like a full week. I've gotten my voice to match Anne's masterful harmonies, I think. Yeah it's p-r-e-t-t-y sweet.

4) "When It's Over" by Loverboy. Mostly I listened to this one so many times because it brings to mind so vividly that scene from Wet Hot American Summer when Katie sees how cool Coop has become and Andy does the most amazing double-take of all film history. You've all heard the song, whether you think so or not.

5) "This Guy's In Love With You" by Herb Alpert. Yadda yadda I've talked enough about this one. Yet I reiterate: I love this song and it loves me back, sweetly and simply. It does.

6) "I Only Have Eyes For You" by the Flamingos (I think). All those times it played on Fox 97, I never realized how good it was. Someday I'll put this in a movie or something.

Also, if I ever do make a movie, I'm pretty sure I'll start the opening credits with "Son of a Preacher Man" by Dusty Springfield. Because wouldn't you love to sit down in a theatre and have that song be the first thing you hear? You'd KNOW that you were in for a good time. You'd just KNOW.

So what I'm saying here is that I saw Jared the Subway Guy AND, if possible, you should find a way to listen to "Evil" by Interpol. It's off the album Antics. It's frantic.

"Buddha Stalin is chronic!
Buddha Stalin's got the skills to pay the bills!"
-Jerri

Celebrities Galore!

I set out to Midtown this afternoon knowing that I would see a celebrity. I knew I would see one, and lo and behold, I DID.

I SAW JARED, THE SUBWAY SPOKESMAN, WALKING DOWN FIFTH AVENUE!
Who's Jared?
(I provided a link in case anyone's wondering who this fellow is)

Hell yeah I saw him. He was wearing a baseball cap and walking with some woman. I didn't say anything to him, but I did like four or five double takes as I passed him. I'm sure it was him.

No sandwich, though. What was that about?

I've Been Drinking Ginger Ale Since Before You Were A Sparkle In Your Mother's Eye

Well, I have.

The latest I've ever woken up is 3:30 pm, and it was on a boat with no windows, so I acknowledge that some of that sleeping wasn't based on my skill.
Today I woke up at 1:30.
Man oh man.
Man! Oh Man!

I should make plans for what I'll do today and tomorrow and sunday so's I don't waste the weekend like last time. Last weekend, I sat in Don's room until it got dark outside, and then we'd be like "whoa it's already dark!" and then we'd sit around some more.
No wait that was two weekends ago. Last weekend was Merrell's birthday extravaganza, which I endlessly enjoyed.

So I chopped off Mark's ass and threw it out the window (as promised) because he never changed his entry. He was getting too tarty, anyway.

I shall eat alone,
alone forever!

A Few Times I've Been Around That Track

I ain't no hollaback girl!
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl!
I ain't no hollaback girl!

(it's my shit)
(it's my shit)

EVERYONE:
You MUST find a way to listen to "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani (on her own). It's freaking crazy...one of those songs that sucks at first (read: "Toxic") but then gets exponentially better exceptionally quickly (read: "Toxic").

DO IT!

It makes me want to join a step team or something equally unlikely!

Is There Anything Left?

I spoke in my Lit Hum class for the first time in like two weeks...TRIUMPH

I just found out that "Ed" comes on tbs at noon...TRIUMPH

I'm super-tired and am so lazy that I might not attend my last class today - Italian for a meager 50 minutes...DEFEAT

Listening to "I Believe in You" by Neil Young...DRAW?

(just kidding - I'd call that a triumph)

It's Groundhog Day!!!!!!...TRIUMPH!

Bad omelette at breakfast today...DEFEAT

I've been declared a competent Asst. Stage Manager at Varsity Show...TRIUMPH

Wearing a flannel shirt today...ANOTHER DRAW

Need to turn in a stupid add/drop form for a stupid Ear Training class that I mildly resent...BIG DEFEAT

Have discovered how awesome the beginning of Loverboy's "When It's Over" is...GIGANTIC TRIUMPH

I'll listen to that now...CONTINUING TRIUMPH

Haven't seen Triumph, the insult-comic dog in a while...DEFEAT

Tickets to Conan in exactly two weeks...OH LORDY THAT'S ONE FANTASTIC TRIUMPH

FOR ME TO POOP ON!