Monday, February 27, 2006

It's Carly's Birthday

So what if I am back home, jerkos? You don't care. Neither do I. Stop pretending. Stop crying. Stop stop stop. Pretending!

Take a vitamin? Ok, sure!

Write a film paper? (thoughtfully) Pass.

How's the flask? Emptier than it's been in a while. I don't own alcohol. That's fine. That's FINE.
It's just that I happen to feel relieved when I drink. That's not bad, right? Then ha-ha I was only kidding


Tonight we had rehearsal that lasted four hours and forty-five minutes. Tomorrow I don't feel like doing anything. All I want to do is watch eternal sunshine over and over.

AND I JUST MIGHT. Right after I take this vitamin and don't write this paper and stare longingly at a flask with nothing inside but a tiny white moth that always flies out of empty things, like wallets for instance.

I just fell asleep. So did you. Don't pretend that we didn't. I won't pretend, either.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Love-Makin, Heart-Breakin, Soul-Shakin

I feel like going to Harvard. Just for the weekend, just with fruit paunch, just for a convention or something. An IMPROV CONVENTION, that is. That's what I'm about to do. In 16 minutes.

I really should pack right now, but apparently it's snowing in Harvard, so I've decided to give up and just throw a pile of laundry into a bag two seconds before I go out the door.

I finished Middlesex. You know what's weird? Maybe weirder than hermaphrodism? Androgen Insensitivity. It's where you're XY but your body can't accept male hormones, so you end up looking like a 6' skinny supermodel with boobs and no capacity to reproduce.

My jeans smell miserable. I should wash them, but then how could I wear them for three straight days in Cambridge? I'll borrow Alison's febreeze.

I think I woke up drunk.

What's it gonna be? 'Cause I can't pretend.
Don't you wanna be more than friends?

See you as soon as I can legitimately say "I survived Harvard mountain and all I got was this lousy diploma and syphilis"

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


I'd like to know how to play the drums.

And while I'm wishing for things, I'd like this cough drop not to have a gross liquid center right now. Furthermore, I'd like it not to have slithered down my throat before I was ready.

We got tested on causative verbs in italian today, which is when you say something like, "I had my friend buy the car."
Causative verbs happen to be in the fashion-vocabulary chapter of the book, so all the examples are like "my mom lets me wear only versace" and "have a tailor hem your fur coat."

Here's my favorite example:
"Non si è più vestita bene dopo il divorzio. Si è lasciata andare."
which means
"She didn't dress well anymore after the divorce. She let herself go."

And if I know you as well as I think I know you, you probably want a pronunciation key so you can go around saying "she let herself go" in italian.
(See eh lah-SHA-ta an-DAR-eh) (and you say "eh" like when you say the letter "A" in english) (and you kind of make "lasciata andare" into one long word)


Monday, February 20, 2006

Alvar Hanso Is Punishing You

"my weekend" by Ramona Punjab, age twenty

fruit paunch formal show (Strictly Ballsroom) was extraordinary AND was taped for CTV. It seems so long ago now.

spent the entire day in the library writing a paper on Hume and Kant called "the Odd Couple"
THEN had Varsity Show rehearsal for the preview
THEN had a sleepover for the cast girls, where we got out several years' worth of prank calls in four hours

rehearsal for the preview show
THEN the preview show twice
THEN 1020, which blew, so I left and slept on philippa's floor

THEN e-weeks fruit paunch show, where we tried to make robots funny (which they ARE, but which we had a hard time conveying)
THEN I didn't do my homework until 1:45 am, which is now, meaning that I'm still not doing my work.

I have to:
write a play with an event in it
memorize more lines of dante's inferno
write about my weekend in italian
read other people's plays from last week
write seven postcards and type them up

I'm also launching a personal campaign to become more womanly, more effeminate. Maybe writing more sentences that end with appositives (clarifiers?) will help my situation, my plight.

PS I just watched this week's episode of Lost and OH MY.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Taking Cues From The Lady Who Touches Bread

uh-oh it looks like you need to click this right NOW!

johari, you son of a piece of chocolate layer cake! Mmmm that sounds good. Oh no, why do they only seem to sell bikinis in size double zero?! sweat sweat sweat leaping from head Ack! How do I have a husband right now? My mother's driving me bonkers!! sweat sweat

CATHY! Stop writing on my blog!
Sheesh, I go away for two minutes and this looney-toon just starts type-type-typing on my thing.

What am I supposed to have read for CC tomorrow at 9?
Let's take a look:
Mill, On Liberty Chapters I-IV

Let's take a the book:
Me, Opening book 176 pages
Me, summary approx. 1 printed page
Me, becklectic compose box still not reading just that small amount of fake summary

What's that, Elvis shot glass on my desk next to my computer? You want me to look at you for a while? I won't lie - that sounds like a brilliant idea.

Monday, February 13, 2006

If You're Lost, You Can Look And You Might Find Me

first of all: suck it, 1947.

and now,
here's all the ways you can see me onstage in the week to come:

THURSDAY: Fruit Paunch formal show ("Strictly Ballsroom")
will be held in the Lerner black box
at the hour of 10 (show will start at 10:30)


SATURDAY: Varsity Show West End Preview
will be held in the West End Olde Tyme Bar And Grille
at the hours of 9 and 11 pm
(it will cost $5, but you get an alma mater shot glass)


Sunday, February 12, 2006

Tess, Meet Ashley

version one
version two
of Tess and none other than america's real favorite Olsen twin.
(Tess is the one on the very right, Ashley is the one on the left, and in the middle is some girl with two lazy eyes and an unwarranted cockney accent (sorry it's so true, mena suvari))

TESS MET ASHLEY OLSEN, just the way we've been planning, just the way "I want tess cohen to meet the olsen twins" desperately cries, just the way Ashley and Mary Kate had always dreamed it would be.

It happened.

Also, I think I might be getting sick.
ALSO, Tess met Ashley Olsen.

In the next episode:
a huge list of all the places/times you can see this one on stage, either singing, dancing, or funnying it up. Have your calendar ready.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Becky, Are Those Tears In Your Eyes?


goodbye, Arrested Development.

this is hitting harder than I thought it would.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Nothing Ever Goes My Way

Things wrong with today/ my life in general:
a) I had to miss my two favorite classes today (cc and italian) due to forces of nature that refused to be ignored (read: cranky uterus)
b) nobody likes me
c) everybody hates me
d) I'm allergic to worms
e) I think I take too much advil
f) I fell short as a tutor because I couldn't really explain the "si impersonale"
f) I don't want to study for my italian quiz tomorrow
f) I don't want to do film tomorrow because it takes up four hours and fifteen minutes of my wednesday afternoon
g) I'm lazy
h) I got fatter
i) I ruin all my clothing with stains
j) I never get enough sleep
k) I sometimes get too much sleep
l) the only class I ever want to go to right now is kickboxing
m) reading for film : necessary :: jumping headfirst into a pile of manure : enjoyable
n) nobody does what I want them to do
o) I constantly imagine myself throwing a really heavy ax into walls or people
p) I don't know if you spell it "ax" or "axe"
q) I'm behind in cc
r) my netflix is waaay late
s) I can never watch the television I want to watch
t) this radio show is stupid, oh no wait, I just realized this is Fiery Furnaces so I guess it isn't stupid
s) I don't know about this.
u) I don't know about ANY of this.

Things right about today/ my life in general:
a) there were three bunnies on the lawn outside the math building today


Sunday, February 05, 2006

Was I Right?

On the first day of the year, I made a list of days I thought might be important. So far, two have happened. Was I right?

31 January:
uh, yeah. I think.
BECAUSE: I went to a mazer fund meeting and also I was preparing to see Citizen Kane the next day. So, yeah, it was cool.

5 February:
still seeing.
BECAUSE: all of today was taken up by Fruit Paunch Formal Show pictures. Then I returned some books to Kim's and purchased a drink I typically do not purchase from the Starbucks Corporation. Also, I'm wearing my cardigan onto which I sewed a "Z" last year, so it could look like a Team Zissou sweater. And it does. Boy, does it! BOY!!

Here's what's currently making 5 February more than notable:
listening to "Listen to What the Man Said" by Wings.

Homework? You want to hear about the homework I have to do before tomorrow? Okay. I mean, that's a strange, boring thing to want to hear about, but who am I to say no to the readership? One homework list, coming right up:
-Memorize the first six lines of Dante's Inferno in its original Italian (the part where Dante meets Odysseus)
-Write an Italian diary entry about my weekend
-Read a packet about how to write a one-act play, focusing especially on a play's "action"
-Read a packet of one-act plays
-Write a short one-act play about someone who wants a book that the other character has

I could fit it.

Good actors make for good subtext - great point, packet. I can't wait to read 80 more pages of you.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

But Punxsutawney Phil Always Sees His Shadow!

I love it when people say that.
I love it when it's GROUNDHOG DAY!
also, I love the movie GROUNDHOG DAY!

Today in cc we were reading Kant's Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals, and also it's Groundhog Day, so I commented that they both have "ground" in the title and I think it was a worthy contribution to class. Basically, it let people know that it's categorically imperative to laugh when I say funny things. That's right. Categorically Imperative.

Here's how you say "grounding" in German:

Here's how you say "conformity to law":

Here's how you say "use of reason":

the glossary at the end of this book is amazoid. In other words, it has much wert (which means value).

(potentially the best holiday of the entire year)