Monday, January 31, 2005


First, the dream:
last night, right before I woke up, I dreamt that I was under some kind of self-imposed house arrest and since I hadn't found a husband by my self-imposed deadline, I was going to be forced to marry this old skeevy elementary school music teacher who had disgusting plans to marry me from the time I was in fourth grade. The whole thing smacked of an Ever After subplot. So he was outside all night, licking his lips and rubbing his hands and calling out to my window "I can't wait for tomorrow, my darling!" And I was really restless and was wearing this tweed skirt that pleases me.

During the last few minutes before sunrise, I realized that the marriage deadline was up to me and I didn't have to get married that day! So I found this lopsided matching tweed blazer and struggled to put it on (its lopsidedness made it a complicated task) and sprinted through the house, trying to figure out how I could sneak past my gross old suitor. Then I woke up.

I was so relieved right before I woke up, which is strange because I'm usually relieved right after I wake up after dreams like that.

Second, the song:
boy is it great to have "Danny's Song" stuck in your head all day. I'm not joking. It really is superb, and it makes me laugh every single time I hear the line that goes "we've just begun, I think I'm gonna have a son." Maybe they should have considered a collaboration with Paul Anka...

Why don't I just post the lyrics:

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one
And we've just begun, I think I'm gonna have a son
He will be like you and me, as free as a dove
Conceived in love, the sun is gonna shine above

And even though we ain't got money
I'm so in love with ya honey
Everything bring a chain of lo-o-o-o-ve
And in the mornin' when I rise
Bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything's gonna be all right

Love a guy who holds the world in a paper cup
Drink it up, love him and he'll bring you luck
And if you find he helps your mind, better take him home
Yeah and dontcha live alone, try to earn what lovers own


This is the version with Anne Murray, not Kenny Loggins.
Just so you know.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Are The Stars Out Tonight? I Don't Know If It's Cloudy Or Bright

Click Here for Some Long-Sought Answers

Sunday sunday what did I do with you? What did I do with the weekend? Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son...daughter. Actually, there was minimal drinking this weekend. I think it was all confined to tonight, at dinner with Grandma. Man I need to slow down this rock 'n' roll lifestyle, 'cause I'm headed for a crash!

St. Augustine once said, "here, let me write this long boring book called Confessions." And I once replied, "uuuuuggghhhhhhh Augustine what are you trying to do to me? And after all that time I spent at you on vacation (holla katherine and family)." And then he was all "'holla'?" And I was like "Are the stars out tonight? I can't tell if it's cloudy or bright..." and then we serenaded each other for a while.

I think people should spend more time listening to "I Only Have Eyes For You" because it is an exceptionally...emotional(?) What I mean is that it makes me feel something - for instance, I feel nervous and happy and nostalgic when I hear it.

But then Augustine was like "dude that didn't even make sense!"

Well what can I do? He doesn't know how cold my hands get when I type. He doesn't even know all the words to "I Only Have Eyes For You." I can see him mouth "apples-and-oranges" over and over again during some parts.

So that's probably the reason that I'm not reading Confessions right now.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Thanks For The Candy

So here's the deal: my last entry made me think that maybe I should go ahead and make a list of pet peeves for bloggy.

Here Goes Nothing:
(Pet Peeves of Mine)

1) Party-Game Cheaters. Why cheat?! Why?! We're at a party! Stop cheating! This is for fun! Sometimes it takes work to be good at party games...but that makes it Cheating doesn't belong at parties, unless you're at a Swinger Party I guess. And that's not really cheating. That's just giving your marriage a little breathing room.

2) Misspelling "lose." I don't know...people use "loose" when they mean "lose" and that gets my goat a little. Not much. Meh.

3) Not Having Water At Restaurants. This scenario reminds me of how haughty all waiters are, how uncomfortable I feel asking for things, and how vital water is to living. So thirsty...

4) Nosiness. Few things annoy me on contact, but when someone sticks his dumb face into my conversation, I want to punch that face until the nose bleeds out. Just punch punch punch until he goes somewhere else. Unless that person is...I don't know, hot or my friend or something. Then it's fine.

5) People Thinking I'm Pissed At Them When I'm Not. This is just annoying, and it's usually pretty hard to iron out.

6) Pouncy Cats. I hate it when those little cats are spring-loaded and they jump at you with their little claws and teeth. Where am I, a stinking jungle, full of dangerous jungle cats?! That's so weird, because I thought I was in suburban Atlanta. That's so weird that I just got attacked by a freaking panther. No, yeah your cat is really cute. That's great. Well, I gotta go. Just remembered that I have this...thing. Say, before I leave, I don't suppose there's any way you can help me get this cat off my face, is there? That'd be great.

7) Slow People Walking Right In Front Of Me. Self-Explanatory.

8) Doing New Things and Meeting New People. Ha-ha-ha just kidding? I don't mind that as much as I could. Think of this as a jokey part of the list.

That's it for now because I see that this list is getting big.
I'm not really a cantankerous person. I mean, sure- I pull cigarettes out of people's mouths, and yeah- maybe I do make remarks about being seated in the "Crying Baby Section" of restaurants, but come on! Everyone does that! And parents like to hear about it when their babies are crying. It helps them.

Positive entries to follow!

Friday, January 28, 2005

Oh Swedes, I'll Never Get Enough Of Thee

Watch More TV

I just realized that I get a lot of new music suggestions from tv commericals...
For Instance:

1) "We've Been Had" by the Walkmen on some car commercial where these guys drive through stages of life
2) "Picture Book" by the Kinks on those cool hp photo-software ads when they take pictures out of real life and vice-versa
3) "Say Something New" by the Concretes on some commercial I can't even remember. I think there's a house involved

These songs have become music that I listen to a lot. So thanks, TV!

The Concretes cd came in the mail today - that's what made me think of it. Man this is a really good cd.

It's incredible!
4) Oh Yeah I almost forgot - "This Guy's In Love With You" by Herb Alpert was on some commercial for a while, and that made me remember how much I love the song.

So that's 4 songs from commercials. I'm undoubtably right at this point.
I forgot if "undoubtably" is a word.

Fascinating New Thing


-Went to brunch at Toast with Taylark.
-Enjoyed it very much
-Heck yeah I'll go back there
-Remembered How Much I Loved I Heart Huckabees
-Put on big sunglasses as we walked back to the dorm from Toast
-Attracted more than just a few vindictive looks...I think these sunglasses are asshole glasses or something. People just hate them.
-Checked messages
-Feel sleepy again
-Accidentally woke up at 8 today and then FOUGHT for more sleep
-Ended up sleeping until noon
-TOAST is a restaurant on Broadway that has very nice burgers and sandwiches and other stuff that I didn't have. I had a "Danish Burger," which was made of swiss-cheese-and-portobello-stuffed burger meat. On a really nice bun. And this salad on the side. And a really ginormous cup of water.
-I appreciate big cups of water
-Probably because I hate being out of water at restaurants
-That will go on my list of pet peeves, along with misspelling "lose" and cheating during party games. And nosiness.

Are you sorry that you treat me unkind? Never You Mind!




Thursday, January 27, 2005

And So Annie Waits For A Call From A Friend

...The same - it's the same, was it always the same? Annie waits for the last TIME. (oh-oohhh)
by Benny Foldsie

Grazie a Amanda, Hollsie, and Josh for all the answers. How sad for Paul and Ringo that everyone hates them...and how lucky for the inky-face guy that everyone wants a piece!

Only things keeping me from the weekend:
1) Ear Training - no big deal. Just a 50 minute class where I read the solfege over and over and over and over and over
2) Fundamentals of Western Music (music theory) - immediately after Ear Training. I still don't have a book, which is a problem because it makes me seem like a slacker. Just like my old man-- he was a slacker, too. An hour and fifteen minutes.


1) Maybe come up with an argument to present at Philo, but maybe not. Any thoughts on shallow people knowing themselves? Please comment before 8:30 tonight, if so.
2) Probably shower
3) Try to forget how awkward I am at fencing...which reminds me of earlier today, when I remembered how much I love it when gym teachers end every sentence with a matter-of-fact "You're dead now."
"Ok...see that? You're dead now."
4) Philo!
5) I [heart] Huckabees!
6) And after...WHO EVEN KNOWS?

when all words fail, she speaks
her mix tape's a masterpiece
walks through the garden so the roses can see
oh I
(have you got nothing to say?)


Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Tatters Matter

MANY THANKS to Katherine and Holly, who provided quite intriguing answers to my survey - anyone else who feels like taking the survey, please do so. I'll read your answers with gusto! Becky Wants To Know!

And now, as promised, here are my answers:
1) George, John, Paul, Ringo. While Lennon wrote several of the b.e.s.t. songs I have ever heard, he had a few with McCartney near the beginning that were stinkers. And everything I've heard from Harrison is amazing. Ringo just plain stinks.

2) Hell yes I'd go inside a brothel! That would be hilarious! I bet there'd be a bunch of animatronic whores shifting to-and-fro and freaky loud carnival music inside. Carnival Carnival Carnival!

3) Usually when there's a funny smell, I figure it's some intruder who's so dumb that he wears heavy cologne or sweats a lot in my room. And then I think, "silly cat-burglar, don't you see I've already one-upped you?"

4) Worse would be the falling down thing. I heart pizza. Pizza Pizza Pizza! Additionally, there's really no good way to recover from falling down in public. You can't really laugh it off and you probably shouldn't look overly embarrassed.

5) Most Definitely I'd do the facial hair guy because drawn on facial hair is very very funny. Which is something the Shweaty Balls skit isn't. I'd probably throttle the Shweaty Balls guy's neck, steal his money, and take Old Ink-Face out for a night on the town. Or maybe a night in, actually. People don't need to see all the ink because they probably won't get it.

6) Ginger makes me want to extinct it. Pineapple any day.

7) It really does depend...Cardigans are so much easier to deal with, but pullovers generally keep me warmer. So I'd say seasons determine my answer - pullovers these days but cardigans later on.

I thought if we lived apart, we could make a brand new start. Do you want to break my heart? Yeah! Oh Yeah!
What a dark and dreary life! Are you reaching for a knife?! Would you really kill your wife? Yeah! Oh Yeah!
Oh I Die I Die I Die! So it's over, you and I. Was my whole life just a lie? Yeah! Oh Yeah!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Let Him Read, But Not Too Valiantly

It's Survey Time again!

1) How would you rate each individual Beatle in terms of personal preference, from favored to despised?

2) Have you ever gone/ would you go to a Brothel? Just to see if it's really that campy inside?

3) When there's a funny smell in your room, what do you usually suspect it to be?

4) What's worse: falling down in the middle of a busy thoroughfare OR enjoying a delicious pizza?

5) Who would you do: a guy with facial hair drawn on with blue pen OR a guy who never stops acting out that stupid "Shweaty Balls" skit?

6) Pineapple or ginger?

7) Pullover or cardigan?

I'll post my answers next time. If you have the means, please take this survey - the kitten's (from Katherine's IM profile link (you know, the one being held up)) life depends on it.

Monday, January 24, 2005

If You Were Here, I Could Deceive You

When she is out of class by 2 on Monday, she wonders what to do with herself. She runs around to get exercise. She takes a shower. She goes out to Duane Reade and buys medicine, which makes her feel vaguely more adult. She forgets her scarf in her room and dunks her entire right foot in a puddle outside, but she isn't really bothered. She considers getting a movie out of the library - some french movie called Jules et Jim.

She listens to the theme from Sixteen Candles ("If You Were Here") and is sad that it's over too soon. Also, "Shambala," the next track, annoys her a little. She'll change the song.

Ah yes! She has such fantastic knowledge of what she wants to hear! "With a Girl Like You" by the Troggs. She would smile inwardly, but the mild headache says, "no." She still isn't really bothered. She remembers that she can touch her nose to her knees again (hadn't been attempted in a while) and she is happy.

Why does the theme from "Benny Hill" play so often on her playlist? Outrage! Her labors will never end. She enjoyed her first Frontiers lecture. It was like one big party, overpowered by one man's discussion of the origins of the universe. She's unsure if she's ever had a truffle - the mushroom, not the confection. She'd consider trying one.

Her fingers are freezing off!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!

A) If Mark's most recent blog entry is still "Minority Report" the next time I see it, I'm going to cut off his ass and throw it out the window
B) I don't want work
C) Frontiers is a pisser
D) Learning Music Theory doesn't seem worth suffering the bitch-man teacher
E) Laundry room sucks!
F) Have to go get laundry!
G) Certain little bitches think that they can just take my clothes out of the washer and throw them devil-may-care on top of the machines. Certain little bitches are dead wrong.
H) Talking to you, shaved-head asshole.
I) I'm going to throw all your clothes on the dirty, linty laundry-room floor
J) Seriously I will.

K) Now I'm moving away from the laundry-pisser portion of the Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! list.
L) Can't find a way to buy that damn The State dvd
M) No good snacks in vending machine downstairs
N) Second ginger ale since last night - not really anything to bitch about
O) Sore muscles from all that awesome snow-activity (e.g. sledding, tackling, tripping).
P) Such slim chances that I'll ever see another celebrity
Q) Because I suck
R) So much bitching!
S) S seems like a good enough letter to end on. If I even cared.

screw you guys - I'm going home

Saturday, January 22, 2005


I'm snowed in!!

The snow is covering my seventh-story window and I can barely keep warm in this crazy blizzard and there's no hope of leaving and I am so glad I just bought eight crates of eggs so I won't grow hungry while I wait out this natural phenomenon in my room!

It's all true! It really is snowing. A lot. 14-20 inches! I couldn't be more excited! I'm not exactly snowed all the way in, and I suppose I didn't really just buy dozens of eggs. But I think we're all missing the point here - there is snow and it's falling like crazy. Shouting profanities and throwing cats during each snowflake's journey to earth. Like Crazy.

Snowing! There's so much of it! FINALLY! My Lady D'Arbanville! This rose will never die; this rose will never die! Cat Stevens, what are you doing here? I always forget how much he loves blizzards, too.

I'll never do work again!

Friday, January 21, 2005

C'est L'homme Ideal Charme Au Masculin

It's ok to wake up at twelve-thirty when you're a tuckered out college kid. That's what I've learned this week. I can't even help it anymore - my body is completely dead until noon, and then I consider waking up by around one. Of course, classes usually rear their ugly heads in the middle of this routine, but not over the weekend.

No, not over the weekend.

So the iPod is going well and the sleeping is really nice. I have errands to run today. Errands! My first friend Erin, from across the street? No no no Becky, errands. I remember that day like it was yesterday, that day when I found not only words, but - more importantly - myself.

Damn these glasses, son, etc.

I don't actually wear glasses.

iPod ear phones hurt my little ears. It's good to cross the campus blasting Air's "Sexy Boy." Or is it?

Thursday, January 20, 2005

10cc Wanted Me To Tell You

a) iPOD DELIVERED TODAY! It reads "Rebecca Freakin Abrams (line break) Yeah! Oh Yeah!" on the back. It's amazing. And moderately easy to set up. Thanks, iPod!

b) my nose is bleeding?!! This must be the week for dashed bodily-function-related records. Throwing up- yep. Nosebleed? uhh I guess. Maybe it's because this is my first winter with so much snow...each individual snowflake's pointy edges are tearing up my nose's insides. I don'ta smoka the crack--so what gives?

c) My little iPod is sitting in its mouse pouch thing that Katherine got me for Christmas. Its earphones are wrapped around and the whole thing sits in my new Belle and Sebastian mug. The picture makes me so happy that my mouth wants to fall off my face.

d) oh yeah and 10cc wanted me to tell you that I'm not in love - it's just a silly phase I'm going through

e) and just because I call you up, don't get me wrong; don't think you've got it made

f) I hope everyone did something civil rightsish on Monday. Here's what is on this card that I got from the MLK center:
I will:
* Respect all people
* Live a life of loving, not hating
* Choose patience over anger, non-violence over force
* Actively help to promote freedom, justice, and world peace.

g) and in reply to Holly's comment on the last one: I know that Arab Strap is a separate band and b&s is referencing them in the song. So I guess a boy from the Arab Strap knocked some guy on his back. haha good one, Arab Strap guy!

h) and in particularly rigorous reply to SarahTullass's comment: sometimes the kids here are like "sheesh stop laughing already - you haven't stopped for ten minutes and all the guy did was fart." And that's when I miss Sweet Sassy Tullassy. Wait I can't go in--because I got--because I've got the farts! I've got the farts.

Eye Shields: Activate!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

I Figured It Out!!

I figured out why I love Sam Rockwell!!

I figured it out!!!!! I FIGURED IT OUT!!!! I figured it out!!! I !!! figured it !!!!! out.

It's because he's in (at least) one of the Stella videos. Here's the link now!! Don't watch it, though. It's not funny. If you want a funny one, watch this one! Pizza!!! EHHH the Brooklyn-ah Pizza!

Sam Rockwell!! My world is one huge amazing circle. And my snack mix is Cheez-It, by Sunshine.

Let's getta the pizzaoh!

Seymour Stein

Seymour Stein- I've been lonely
I caught a glimpse of someone's face
It was mine and I'd been crying

Half a world away
Ticket for a plane
Record company man
I won't be coming to dinner

My thoughts are far away
I'm working on that day
North Country girl
I think she's going to stay

Promises of fame, promises of fortune
LA to New York- San Francisco back to Boston
Has he ever seen Dundee?
Won't he hire a limousine?
Seymour send her back to me


I heard dinner went well
You liked Chris's jacket
He reminded you of Johnny
Before he went Electronic

Seymour Stein- sorry I missed you
Have a nice flight home
It's a good day for flying

Much clapping and crashing cymbals
A plane takes off

By Belle & Sebastian

What Have I Done? What Have I Done?!

Here is what I've done:
1) Thrown up
2) Not read the first six books of The Aeneid for tomorrow's 9am class
3) Listened to "Carey" by one madame Joni Mitchell far too many times in one day
4) You're a mean old daddy
5) But I like you
6) Registered for sought-after Italian class
7) I'm so screwed with classwork and it's only the first day
8) Attended first Varsity Show rehearsal
9) Oh and the laughing!
10) Basta.

I miss Barbara Spinelli. My stomach misses feeling like it won't throw up at any second. My mouth missed the cream soda last night...and headed straight for oh so much wine wine wine. Tired + 130 more pages of ancient epic + online packet of Frontiers of Science Introductory Material - time - drive + cold cold room = My Rockin Tuesday Night

it's a mean old daddy, but I like it.

Monday, January 17, 2005

You'll Have To Make It Someday

Instead of buying a bottle of wine, I bought a six-pack of cream soda for the Varsity Show dinner I will attend later tonight. Don and I shared pineapple rum in his room forty-five minutes ago. A lesson learned: back-and-forth game = so quickly trashed. Not trashed; buzzed. And sleepy. We pregamed for the semester...

because classes start tomorrow. I wish Mark would come back from the airport with Taylor already so we can all be happy and cool our jets. I'm eating a Mentos Cool Chew, which is not a regular Mentos (the freshmaker). This one isn't a "freshmaker" I guess. When I bought the cream soda, I also bought some cheese and crackers.

Better compare notes with your older sister. I don't know if I should go to the fencing class tomorrow. I think I heard that phys ed classes don't start until next week. Who even knows?

David Wain wasn't on the flight. Here's the link for Stella clips again. Stella is offfffffff. I should be reading Virgil's Aeneid. As the cigarette catches and sets off the smoke alarm...which reminds me: I got my Belle and Sebastian "For Fans Only" mug in the mail today! Huzzah!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

If You Never Ever Kiss It, How're You Ever Gonna Miss It?

I have seen Avenue Q.

I have enjoyed Avenue Q.

With Grandma.



It Feels Great!

Saturday, January 15, 2005

I'm Flying In Three And One-Half Hours

I'm flying back to the city tonight. From the Reasonably Sized Peach to the Big Apple.

I can't seem to type anything that makes me feel funny. Funny-haha, not funny-strange. I could type plenty of things to make myself feel funny-strange. I hope I don't cry at the airport. I can't understand how this break was so long and so short. I didn't have to take up my time seeing movies by myself, and in fact, I sort of feel like I ran out of time to see my friends. Not enough time. But then again, I've been away from school so long that it's going to be weird to have to take keys to the bathroom again. And when I was leaving, I was so worried that I'd miss taking my damn keys to the bathroom. This is dumb.

I'll probably get there and everything will seem like I never left. My little room, my friends, every part of the campus. It's been almost a month, and I'll definitely feel like I've been gone, but it will rush back to me by - I'd bet - an hour after I get back. Wait Wait WAIT who am I to guess how I'll take it?! I hate predicting things like this because when it isn't the same, I get sad. And when it is the same, I get bored. Ok so strike all of this. I guess I could just erase it, but no no no that's wa-a-aay too much work on my end. I'll see how I feel when I get there.

I'm glad I'll get to fly back when it's dark and all the city-lights are on. I'm seeing Avenue Q with grandma tomorrow. I hope I don't forget to call her when I get in. I hope somehow David Wain ends up on my flight. I bet he funnies up a lot of flights. Like by farting or having seizures or stumbling drunkenly into the cockpit, shouting "! List-listen...I'm David...Fuckin....Rain...Wain hahahaahahahaha whoa!" and then falling onto a stewardess backwards. Hahaha!

Oh! Amy Sedaris was on Letterman last night! I don't watch Dave as often as I'd like, but I turned it on last night and there she was!! With a can-can dress and everything. Good surprise, Dave, good surprise. It's hard to type "surprise." Am I drunk?


Friday, January 14, 2005

There Are Fifteen People In This House And You're The Only One Who Has To Make Trouble

I was just rereading the last entry and I'd like to clarify:
"blech" goes to the fact that last night's sushi was from Publix, not to the idea of sushi, itself. I heart sushi.

Just so we're clear.

I just heard my mom's voice coming from the kitchen going, "ugh unngghh (reaching for something) uhhh Chicken...damn!" Whaaa?

Ok, Disney, I'll watch the first movie in TV Week with (2005) in its summary. Now You See It. It's about a misunderstood magician who really does real magic. But he doesn't know how to control it! And also he's on some reality show about kid magicians. Whatever I'm watching it.

OH WHAT- HE JUST SAID "TUTELAGE!!!" WHOAAAAAAA Remember a couple entries ago when the title was something about "tutelage"?!?! AAAAAAAA IT REALLY IS MAGIC!!!! The guy, the old-man magician, was the one who said it. I'm amazed!

I love it when people (especially Callie) exclaim "What the--?!"

and I also love it when people describe size with "about yea big..." Laura Clawson did that today and I was thrilled. Katherine and I saw her at Target. Boy do I love Target.

oh ho ho the old-man magician just used magic to erase this moron's incriminating tape. Haha good one, old man! Under your tutelage, I'd be unstoppable!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I Am The Lovable Tramp! I AM!

Today: Mommy-Daughter Day, starring myself and of course, my mom.
1) I slept in until 11:30 or so
2) Bagel for breakfast with/near mom
3) Drove mother to Stone Mountain to pick up special peppermint pieces for our...
4) Peppermint Bark Bake-Off!!
5) Drove mother to Mercer so she could pick up books for her next semester in Seminary School
6) Picked up some more dry food for Sparkey (.my dog.) at the vet
7) Made it just in time to the Reeeeg( Cinemas) to see Spanglish
8) Accompanied mother to grocery store (Publix) to buy the rest of the stuff we need for the Peppermint Bark Bake-Off!!
9) Came home.
10) Watched "The O.C." with mother while preparing/eating a caprese salad
11) Mmmm caprese salad!
12) I made MY peppermint bark for the Peppermint Bark Bake-Off!!, but mom decided to make hers tomorrow.
13) Ate a little sushi from Publix (blech? I enjoyed it. You'll eventually observe that I have low-ish food standards).
14) End of day's events.

Definitely the least argumentative Mommy-Daughter Day we've ever had. I chalk it up to the Peppermint Bark Bake-Off!! Yesssssssssss

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

The Reality Generation

I think that's what our generation's name might be. Because of all the reality television. I hope this isn't what we're remembered for.
I feel like I heard another potential generation name, but I forgot---no no it's the Millenials. I heard that's what we might be called.
Your Cover's Blown!
Tonight I watched Lost and Alias. Two abc shows! It's been a while since I watched abc on purpose. Prior to tonight's abc deluge, I watched six episodes of Sex and the City. Thanks, Blockbuster! Catching up on tv is the greatest.
I'll bring the hampers down after Alias. Then I'll do the dishes. Does my hair usually look dry?
Oh man! I saw the most hilarious tv spot EVER! It's one of those new reality "my kid is a brat and I'm helpless to do anything about it!" shows. On the commercial, a little boy head-butts his mom on the couch! Hahahahahaha her head snaps back and she's all "owww!" Oh man that's quality.
On Alias, they keep talking about Sydney "blowing her cover." That's why, earlier, I wrote "Your Cover's Blown!" I think something's about to go down...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

News That Might Only Be Exciting To Me

holy crap! When I blogged about liking the Zombies, I had no idea that there was a Zombies song on the Life Aquatic soundtrack!!

I heart coincidences. And Wes Anderson movies.

I Guess I Don't Know Much Anymore

1) I've lost over half of my vocabulary. Just ask Amanda. Last night, I could barely remember the words for "find" and "pin."
2) I just watched that Robert Downey, Jr. movie where four ghosts follow him around. I might have cried at the end. At the end of a shit movie that came on the Oxygen Channel on a Tuesday night.
3) I toured Roswell's finest parks with Mark today. Then I got really sleepy.
4) I keep wearing my new red "Coke is it!" t-shirt. I bought it Sunday and have worn it everyday since then. I will wash it soon.
5) Both of my feet just fell asleep at the same time.
6) I dyed my hair yesterday afternoon. It doesn't look any different. I dyed it light brown which is dumb because it's already dark brown. I knew my hair wouldn't turn light brown. Here's why I did it: so maybe the dye would color in my gray hairs and they'd look like subtle highlights...maybe? Yeah?
7) In this bluish laptop light, my knuckles and backs-of-my-fingers betray every single line. My skin is like a desert, apparently. I guess I should use more hand lotion or something. Or somezing.
8) I should have gone to bed when I was tired, at 8 o'clock. Now I'm just a dry-handed, not-knowing-words, coke-shirt-wearing, false-hair-color weenie. And I can't stop watching Gilmore Girls.

Monday, January 10, 2005


Such a funny word.

You know, I don't blame Cher (from Clueless) for not knowing that Christian was gay. He was kind of leading her on a little, and I personally have absolutely no gaydar, so I understand her mistake. Besides, she ends up with Paul Rudd, know. Not too shabby.

Maybe I should take the Special K Challenge. I already know it wouldn't work out.

Now I know what you're all thinking: you're thinking, is it "Nobody does it like Sara Lee" or is it "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee?" Well friends, I'm here to tell you which one it is. It's the second one. "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee." Which is true on so many levels.

I shall call Amanda and we shall parade around Tech-area Atlanta, galavanting our little hearts out. But of course everyone knows that our hearts are big. The biggest around!!

All of a sudden, whipped cream has lost its tastiness! How could that have happened?! And another thing! I always thought that Brittany Murphy was chubby in Clueless and that's how we're all so sure that she recently contracted anorexia. But I'm slowly realizing that she was pretty thin in Clueless, too. One time I accidentally damaged Wesleyan's private property.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Hello, The New Us!

You've all been waiting for it...and here it is! Round Two of my most recently downloaded songs on iTunes (and thoughts on each):

1)"Kentucky Rain" by Elvis - I knew something was missing from my library! Certain Elvis songs are adored by me.
2)"Tell Her No" by the Zombies - yeah yeah, oldies turn me off. Except when I actually listen to them. Then I like them a lot. Especially this song. "Tell her no no no no no-no-no-no!" I like the Zombies.
3)"This Guy's In Love With You" by Herb Alpert - ahhhhhh this. is. the. GREATEST. song. of. all. time. I would play this song over and over if my life had loudspeakers or some other soundtrack-playing device. Similar to "riding on the bus" music. But it would be this song ALWAYS.
4)"You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" by both the Beatles and Pearl Jam - I enjoy both versions. Very much.
5)"A Well Respected Man" by the Kinks - more golden oldies!! Man that term really does make me throw up. Like its stupid cousin, "brainstorming." Yet my love of the Kinks prevails...again.
6)"Give It To Me Baby" by Rick James - I always guessed this song was about marital love. And an incorrigible husband. Oh Rick, you crazy, incorrigible man!
7)"Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones - I think I wrote about this one a little while ago. About how it is pretty but sad and how there's never that great a time to listen to it. Except there was this one time that was perfect - I was driving in the early early morning to...some event?...and it came on the radio and everything was perfect.
8)"Let's Move To The Country" by (smog) - I need more quality (smog). Please post suggestions in the comments area. Please!
9)"What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers - one time Robbie Patterson wore a Doobie Brothers shirt to school (on a Jeans Day of course) and some teacher was like "doobies!! oh my!" and he thought that was funny so he told everybody. Ahhh, censorship.
10)The "Kate & Allie" theme song - at first it was slow and nondescript (and thus quite depressing), but now I need it. I need it like oxygen or clothings!

We know the mistakes we make.

People don't sigh enough. Or maybe I'm not noticing it enough. Sighs are amazing.

Hear Me Like Marlon!

Stella! Stellllllllaaaaaa!

I'm very excited these days because Stella (a triumvirate of hilarity) is coming out with TV series and Shorts and Dvds. These products are exiting their bodies via the wazoo! Heck, take a break from this stupid blog (bloggy, they're only words) to watch some Stella Shorts. I suggest that you watch a few, then I progressively dare you to not laugh.

Yesterday I told Katherine that it must be hilarious to go through life without a sense of humor. To go through everything without laughing, to say "I guess I just don't get it" over and over again. She told me that it would be a shame because they wouldn't think it's hilarious. So I punched her in the face and shoved her head at the passenger seat's window. Eventually, we came to a consensus. There Are No Catch-22s!.

Except this Catch-22:
When I grow old and have children, I will be pissed if they get taller than me (ie taller than five feet), but I will be disappointed if they stay really short. I want normal-sized children, for Pete's sake! But I swear, if those little jerks get one inch taller than their mother...

Stellllllllllllllllaaaaaaaa! I tried to go to their fall '04 stage production of Sixteen Candles, but the "server broke and my tickets were lost." What-the-fuck-ever. I still love Stella. Do you hear me, Stella?! Stellllllllaaaaa!

Friday, January 07, 2005

I'm Eating...

an omelette!!

The Things We Do For Dental Hygiene

Just got back from the dentist. As I sat/lay in the exam chair, I realized that I was sitting in like form-dentist's office. I'll explain:

10cc's "The Things We Do For Love" played quietly throughout the office as I sat/lay/reclined? in the chair, facing a wall of windows. The small tv in the ceiling-corner showed Fox News tsunami coverage (on mute). I stared at the trees through the windows and saw white/gray/snowy sky behind them. Leafless dark branches streaked the sky all over and I stared at this one little square of branches for a long time. The office smelled sanitary. I wore the paper bib. My teeth were continually poked.

It wasn't the shadow - it was Form Dentist.

Dawson's dad is going to die soon. I should let my dog back inside. I'm going to sew a Z on my sweater. I have a strong urge to never see The Phantom of the Opera. My teeth! They're so fresh and so clean-clean!

Thursday, January 06, 2005

The Girls Are Planning On Calling You "Fatty-fat Fat Fat"

As always, junior sleuth Katherine guessed right - the title of my last entry was inspired by the Gilmore Girls that was on last night. I also added a little Airplane flavor to it. Most of my titles come from tv show lines that I hear...maybe I should make a contest where people guess where my entries' titles come from. Ok, it's a contest now. Guess where this one came from.

What Else What Else. I'm sad today. I've been sad a lot lately. And it's not I-need-to-be-cheered-up sad; it's more like I'm-sad-and-there's-nothing-that-anyone-or-anything-can-do-about-it sad. I don't know what's going on. I listened to "Wild Horses" today and that really didn't help much. It's a shame that so many beautiful songs are also sad...because I can't really ever enjoy them the way I want to. I wrote a little bit yesterday and it made me feel better for a while. Maybe the key is actually doing stuff. Like writing more or taking walks or seeing friends.

I've got to figure something out. I was dancing a little today and that seemed to help. It was to that David Bowie song from The Life Aquatic's trailer...what is it called? Ah yes, "Queen Bitch."

Hey Katherine, remember Abnormally Long Torso Girl? Haha she was a keeper.

I'm suddenly thinking of some cartoon that I believe Taylor Nilan and Jeff Hajek drew for the Green & Gold that starred an abnormally long hot dog man...the wiener was too long for the bun and it made me laugh for like three or four months straight. I should dig up that issue and try to cheer myself up with it.

I wore a lot more sweatshirts when I was little. I bought a nice green shirt today.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Joey, Have You Ever Seen A Ballroom Dance Competition?

I just ate a buttload of ham. I don't know why! We had like half of a honeybaked ham leftover from Christmas and so I washed my hands and pulled off a bunch of pieces and then piled them three inches high on a (smallish) plate and ate them all. Why? Why? Why? I don't even like ham. Especially not cold cuts. Honeybaked ham is the only kind I touch. And I just touched a lot of it. With my mouth.

So now my stomach is full of honeybaked ham and I can't really move around that much. I bet it's hard for actors to pretend to laugh really hard. No one likes to hear fake laughter. Uggghhhhh

ham! I have yet to shower today. Don't worry, though! I will! Probably in like ten minutes or so. As soon as the ham permits.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Maybe I Should Talk More About TV

Survey Time!!
--Do you say "penchant" more like
1) pin-schawnt
2) pension..t ?

Just wondering. In response to Josh's comment to a few entries ago, holla back to the nineties sitcom "Weird Science." I freaking LOVED that show. Really, I lived for it. USAm (look - a double entendre! (USA and AM)) ran my mornings for the first 14 years of my life. First it was "Wings", then some "Just The Ten Of Us," then "Major Dad", more "Wings," maybe a little "Something So Right", then "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" and...of course..."Weird Science."

I don't think I watched the "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" series much. Strange. It seems like I would.

I went back to school today and saw people. IT was GOOD. I'm really not sure how I feel about this "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl." It seems completely unnatural, and it has great potential to turn depressing.

And another thing! I don't think we get the We Channel anymore. MAN!!

Monday, January 03, 2005

Ugly Purple Vomit On The Wall That You're Calling "Art"

"I'm planning on going to the 2010 Olympics, so if you could not *squish* me, that'd be great," said the little a-hole ice skater in the preview I saw today. haha She said this to a fumbling Michelle Trachtenberg and boy, did that put Harriet the Spy in her place.

I didn't get much sleep last night. I went to sleep with Money Train on, and I woke up with Money Train on. Thanks a lot, TBS. I vaguely recall stirring in the middle of the night and hearing some lines from The Jerk. It was the part where the rich Texas oilman is asking Navin for money so he can replace his airplane's cracked leather seats...even saddle soap won't help them! It's embarrassing to take his friends on his plane at this point.
It's not my favorite part. Nope, not even close.

This entry is not being enjoyed by me, its writer. Sorry, everybody. This one's a stinker.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Why I Love Sam Rockwell

You know, I'm not really sure.
Just look at him. You'd love him, too.

Oh No!!...or, Still In The Sky & Shining Above You

oh no oh no
I read Katherine's blog today and I hope I haven't offended her with the Team Zissou cap situation. I was actually hoping that Team Zissou could be the theme of our next round of Wal-Mart portraits. Damn it I hate it when this happens. Passive Aggression can't be the new face of 2005 - it just can't! I'll probably give her a call tomorrow. That's the way we do things in Aught-Five. We give people calls tomorrow. Welcome to the OC, bitch!

Here's why 2005 is getting better day by day:
1) Yesterday's Events - woke up on not-my-couch. Watched Better Off Dead on my laptop while resting on my husband (you know, that pillow thing that you rest on) my own bed. Ahhhhh. Saw Finding Neverland with Briana. Ate at an authentic Mexican Restaurant (read: no tortilla chips on the table). Zapata. Say it aloud with a thick Mexican accent now and thank me later! Zapata!
2) Today's Events - inspired by Briana's well-kempt appearance, I decided to make a run to Target to buy some pretty-making tools. I left my blow dryer at school, and I needed some more makeup, and blah blah I like spending money blah. So I bought a bunch of great stuff.
3) I guess that's it. Oh yeah and I also bought some silver nail polish, so that's making me pretty happy right now.

If you look at Annie's blog (which I have posted below), you can see some funny pictures of the gingerbread man party she had. My favorite is the one of Julia kissing a gingerbread doctor. I've made it my computer's wallpaper.

Chiquitita, you and I cry - but the sun is still in the sky and shining above you!

Others (The Middle Of JOY)

Since I have no idea how to list my friends' blogs under my profile, I'm putting them here:


If I've missed anyone, comment on this post and I'll see what I can do.

i.e. I'll see what I feel like doing.

i.e. I'll probably lie in bed for a few days, eat some popcorn, and completely forget that I even have a blog

i.e. you probably shouldn't even try.


Bones aren't scary.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

In Your Head (Zo-ombie), Sang The Irish Woman Stridently

Ahhhh 2005. You are now 2005. "You" meaning this year.

It is strange for you to be 2005 because the farthest into the future I ever imagined was 2004 (the year of my high school graduation). So now it's like I'm living in the distant future. The future of the future. Why are you 2005?

I read Katherine's blog and I thought everyone should know that I also got a red knit cap so I could be a member of Team Zissou. It is interesting to note that we bought these hats completely independently of each other. In fact, I got my red cap at 7 am last Sunday with my roadtripping family in some North Georgia gas station.

I forgot to eat Hoppin' John tonight. I forgot to hold a dollar in my hand at midnight last night. This is going to be a memorable year. Or not.

I actually have big plans for you, 2005. I like even numbers (everyone does), but numbers that end in 5 are just as good in my eyes. So divisible, so neat. So metric. I like fives more than tens! That's saying a lot. So this year, being a number ending in five, will be thoroughly enjoyed (in theory) by me, Becky.

I went to the big Underground Atlanta Peach Drop last night. Beer spilled all over me and people yelled at us for walking on the bushes. I can see where they were coming from, but seriously - that yelling really brought down our New Year's Eve spirit. Don't worry; we got the spirit back. Sort of.

Tonight I'm going to watch Saturday Night Live for the first time in like five months.

I saw Finding Neverland this afternoon. I catch a lot of matinees. I think we all know why.