Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Happy Birthday, Amy Sedaris!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Get To Know Me

I have PREFERENCES and here they ARE:

(guess the answers first. Or don't. I'll never know the difference and the answers are at the bottom, anyway)
1) favorite stevie wonder song
2) favorite car
3) second favorite car
4) favorite type of mint
5) two most hated spices
6) Uncle Buck or Home Alone?
7) first fake name
8) favorite childhood book series
9) favorite ad on the Home Alone vhs, before the movie starts
10) most hated soft drink
11) favorite schnapps (this almost isn't even a question)
12) Wedding Singer 1 or Wedding Singer 2?
13) favorite philosopher so far in CC
14) favorite character on ye olde Orange County programme
15) favorite types of numbers


here are



1) If You Really Love Me [Won't You Tell Me]
2) Gabe the camry
3) DeLorean (with flux capacitor inside)
4) wintergreen/spearmint
5) cilantro and ginger
6) do you honestly think I could make that kind of choice?
7) Ramona McEnroe
8) Anastasia Krupnik
9) It's not what you drink - Hey, got a pepsi for me?
10) Beverly
11) butterscotch OBVIOUSLY
12) there's only one, and I like it okay
13) Kant...will probably change
14) seth cohen. Maybe sandy cohen, too.
15) even or multiples of five

Did you guess the right ones? Do you share any of my preferences? If so, why? If not, why not? Be specific.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

I'm Getting Intimate With Entenmann's!

March 23rd was one of the days I thought might be special at the top of the year. There's always something about march 23rd that seems important- is it someone's birthday?

birthdays of note:
-Ric Ocasek
-Chaka Khan
-Roger Bannister
-ooh Moses Malone!

deaths of note:
-no one I've ever heard of

events of note:
(oh man here's where it hits)
-Patrick Henry's "give me liberty or give me death" speech
-Lewis & Clark begin their return journey from the wide blue Pacific
-First recorded use of "OK"
-First elevator installed
-Mussolini founds Italian Fascism in Milan
-The Reichstag elects Hitler dictator in Germany
-Pons and Fleischmann announce cold fusion
-Mir falls apart (on purpose)
-I write a post about the items on my wall

It's 82 days into the year. 283 days remain in 2006. 283 is a prime number. 82 is divisible by 41, which is prime. That's a lame observation.

March march march 23 march twenty-third March 23 twenty-three March march 23rd

Here's what's great about March 25:
the fact that this morning I remembered the existence of
I GOT WORRIES (whoa-a)

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Pretend This Is A Quotation From Some Book

-a makeshift ruler made out of computer paper with red pen markings at every inch
-a notepad stapled up
-a list of famous people/people of interest and their addresses, as found in the yellow pages at Grandma Bobbie's
-a belle and sebastian Jet Tours luggage tag
-the 7 wonders of the ancient world
-a card that has a black and white picture of a horse and a little boy standing on one of the stirrups and only barely reaching the saddle with the top of his tiny cowboy hat
-a newspaper clipping that says
"INTERESTED IN A BRAIN imaging Study? If you are female, 18-30, overweight and experience overeating, you may qualify for a risk free fMRI...There is a $50 compensation and a free meal"
-my three pin-clips from the Met that prove you have a ticket and thus a right to be there
-the cover of a book of stamps that has a drawing of an egret on it
-a wrench
-a magazine clipping about conan and his then-pregnant wife
-my "outatime" personalized novelty license plate from universal studios back the future ride, which was MISERABLE but made me love the movie even more
-an assortment of photographs
-five fortune cookie fortunes that I liked
-the poster plan I made on the back of a valentine envelope the summer before college (it's post-modern art now)
-an autographed portrait of one sir David Cross, as gifted me by Katherine
-a picture of a baby in a pumpkin outfit, which I found on google images by searching for Lord knows what
-a list of the schnappses I've tried with a rating of "like" or "dislike" for each item
-the ticket stub from the Russia! exhibit at the Guggenheim
-a large newspaper ad for Lost
-a towel holder and towel

This is a list of the things hanging on the wall I face at my desk. Most items are stapled up, but some are put up with pushpins. Most of the pushpins started out clear, but then I colored on them when I was bored with Roseart sharpies, which have lasted unprecedentedly long for Roseart products.
oh, I forgot

-a pushpin that serves as my key-hanger.


Monday, March 20, 2006

There'll Be No Strings To Bind Your Hands, Not If My Love Can't Bind Your Heart

an open letter:

Dear spring break,

I miss you so hard, baby. Why do you have to go so soon? You're always gone faster than you're here. I really hate it. I hate that you're always leaving. When you're gone, it makes me want to do things...that are wrong. Don't make me do those wrong things, spring break. It's really up to you.

I can't wait to be filled up with your babies,

I'm the first to admit that over half of that is from strangers with candy. I can't help it if it's funny. All I CAN do is copy it word for word into bloggy. And slightly rearrange the words and context to suit my needs.

Here's where I've applied to intern this summer:
a) nbc universal
b) disney
c) mtv networks
d) cbs
-which effectively covers almost every television station there is-
e) stella
f) random house
g) magnolia mae films
h) krupp kommunications (I really hate the way it's spelled. So much so that I almost didn't apply, that is, until I remembered that no one wants to give me an internship anyway so I really can't be a chooser at this point)
i) Fairchild Publications

Here's who has responded to my application:

Here's who maybe won't have an internship this summer:
I mean

Probably al franken won't have an internship, either, but for reasons different from mine.

Today I saw Thank You For Smoking. I liked it for several reasons, but what really impressed me was that for once, Maria Bello didn't make me want to kill myself.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Hope Grows Greener Than Grass Stains

we've been filming the varsity show trailer since I've been back at school. I'll write all about where you can see it once it's online.

Here are the things I started to write but decided against:
-Lordy lordy lordy
-I haven't taken a vitamin in a while
-this break has been too busy to be a break

I didn't like any of those, but at least they're filling up space. Maybe I'll go back and erase them, since I really don't like any of them at all. I guess I sort of like the vitamin one, but it's untrue.

I went back to the ear nose throat doctor and I've definitely got nodes, for whose sake I should go to this crazy speech therapist. Yeah, I guess I'll go OH SO MUCH MONEY WHY DOES ALL MY MONEY GO DOWN THE TOILET WHY WHY WHY

I'm wearing a shirt inside-out.

Chances are like 90%-95% that I'll get to visit Hannah tonight. Where? At the late George Plimpton's apartment. That's not a lie.

I just don't understand why, if the krystal building is right there, why there can't be krystals in my mouth and then my stomach.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Me: Al Franken And None Of The Above

First, Orlando.
Then, back to New York.

Carly, Colin, Philippa, and I stood in line at the Colbert Report Studio, dunkin donuts in hand and setting sun in eye, for an hour and a half this afternoon. Then we got the perfect place in line, which allowed us to sit in the front row of the right-side section of the studio audience. Then Stephen Colbert was amazing and a real live person who stood no farther than one foot away from us while he was talking to some people a few rows behind us. Carly asked him a question. He'd probably be a lawyer if he wasn't in comedy.

And if Colbert wasn't enough, who came out for the interview segment? Al Franken. Me, Al Franken!! (this was the rerun I watched over and over as a 9-year-old,along with this). They were hilarious together OBVIOUSLY and then Colbert did a segment called "The craziest fucking thing I've ever heard," which was about a guy training for his high school wrestling season by wrestling a bear and how bears shouldn't be allowed into college. It was over so quickly. Colbert was such a beautiful man.

We watched so much Strangers With Candy right after.

Then we almost napped through the Colbert Report at 11:30, but we woke up in the middle and caught some of it. I was so sad for sleeping, which almost never happens. The only other time I can remember being mad at sleep was this time.


Wednesday, March 08, 2006

In A Gross, Gross, Painful Can

Just in case you were wondering

I got the article from last time, the one about the opposite twins (ha-ha?), from Alison, who is currently in the next room over. She's studying for her CC midterm this afternoon. She was eating a bagel the last time I saw her. She's the new vice president for the French Cultural Society.

Alison and Krotov and I were in my room not twenty minutes ago, eating oreo chocostix and bagels. We were talking about my womanly campaign. Here's how it went:

Me: Hey mark, do you want to join the campaign? You already wear makeup and brush your teeth at least twice a day.
Mark: yes, yes that sounds like a great idea.
Me: Do you wear jewelry? I have to start doing that more.
Alison: Yeah, he's wearing a ring.
Mark: Does a cock-ring count? (note here the way Mark always says "cock" when he could say any other word for penis)
Me: that depends - does it wrap around, or is it more like a Prince Albert?
Mark: what's a prince albert?
Alison: it' can't even describe it.
Me: couldn't even...begin to-
Mark: we could google it-
Me: OK!

that's how we found the website at the top.

And THIS is how I squandered the hour I had left before my film midterm.
Study? naw, dude. Write an entry about prince alberts? see above.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Satin Tape

I just had a dream where I was walking on 114th, minding my own business, when suddenly I heard the unmistakable laughter of the frazzles, the channel 101 squirrel coming up behind me. I turned around and it was the Lonely Island on bikes! I pretended to be upset by their hooliganism, so they decided to follow me to my dorm (they must have been looking for trouble). Then I was all "Hey guys are you going to follow me all the way up to my room, then?" and they were like "uh, yeah, if that'll piss you off," so then they did follow me up, or at least fake-akiva did (andy samberg had some trouble at the id desk) (and where the fuck was jorma? he was replaced by some fat guy I don't know).

Eventually they got up to my room, but then it was really only Andy Samberg and fake-akiva and me, and by then they had noticed this huge lonely-island poster I apparently had in my room. That's when they got sour. So I thought I'd make them like me by showing them the wal-mart portrait katherine and I had made in 10th grade, the one we got before we knew how similar it was to their sears portrait (also set against a proud american flag). It didn't work - the one in my wallet was faded, and the one hanging on my wall was hidden behind a bunch of other pictures. By the time I got it down and tossed it to andy samberg, it fell through a crack behind my bed and was more or less lost forever. Then they wanted to go, so I suggested we wrestle, but they suggested that they just leave instead.

I can't remember what happened past that. I'm guessing they left. Screw you, too, the lonely island.

I'm just keepin' it real.

PS I've decided that the last post I ever do (don't think about it now) will be called "The Defenestration Of Blog"

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Walt's Favorite Is Muggy!

Becky A, it feels like years.

Here's what's changed in me since last time:
a) I took up a taste for tea, particularly the Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple Spice 100% Herb Tea.
b) I found out that I have vocal nodules
c) I declared a concentration in American Studies and the Writing Program
d) My UCB show was cancelled
e) I've decided to order both "the Life Pursuit" and "Dear Catastrophe Waitress" off of, since I currently own neither

Here's what hasn't changed:
1) I still need a haircut
2) My concentration status on student services (still says "undecided")
3) I still hate tea
4) Your face

wait, wait a second-

ok I'm back. I was gone for a minute. Gone fishin'. Or something. Or son Welles. Or rosebud, or lip chap, or jodpers, or creepers, or Jeep Grand Cherokees, or my native spirit.

The songs I make on garageband end too quickly.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

How Many Times Can I Listen To "St. Elmo's Fire" In One Day?

so many times.

Here's an amazing progression of songs that just sort of happened on itunes:

1) I think I need a new heart (magnetic fields)
2) these eyes (three dog night)
3) psycho killer (talking heads)
4) mmm mmm mmm (crash test dummies)
5) walk the dinosaur (was (not was))
6) baby i'm'a want you (bread)
7) if (bread)
8) bad boys (gloria estefan) (aka the theme from three men and a baby)
9) it must have been love (roxanne)
10) st. elmo's fire (john parr)
11) don't you forget about me (simple minds)
12) you get what you give (new radicals)
13) the passenger (iggy pop)

how did that happen?! That's the order I downloaded them, I guess.

Oh, and about that film paper- DONE. It's called (I'm not proud of the title) "A camera made them laugh" and it has to do with how camera-as-narrator made these two screwball comedies (to be or not to be and sullivan's travels) a lot funnier and more solid as comedies.

Why were they more solid as comedies? The cut. The cut and the pan. The cut and the pan and the frame. The frame fits into the pan, I guess. And it also fits in the cut. Forget it, just forget it. Especially forget the title. It's 3:15 and last time I looked it was only 3 am, which is alarming because I thought I looked at the clock one minute ago instead of fifteen minutes ago.

Ok well see you in march. Oh nuts it's already here. I think I might be an American Studies concentration. It blends my favorite things and I'm already half-done. Suck it, major declaration period.