guess what I just thought of: Instead of saying "celebration," I'm going to start saying "celegaytion." So let's celegay!and now for
THE BEST "BEST OF 2006" LIST OF 2006!
(check it out!)
1) injuries are always pretty high on the list, so the first best of 2006 will go to the time I cut my wrist on a set piece during Varsity Show and then had to do a scene in front of 1000 audience members with a flowingly bloody wrist. Best Hurt of 2006.
2) best Lodge in the best suite in the best dorm at the best college I go to - EC 1218 (alias PABAR), you
are the Best Living Situation of 2006.
3) you started paying me in August? Confatulations, Lost Planet! Best Lost Paid Internship of 2006!
4) XMAS! A Secular Spectacular, you are obviously the Best Christmas Spectacular of 2006. Who else could it even be? The Holliest Jolliest Holiday '06? No. It was indeed the jolliest holigay of the season.
5) Best Impromptu Fists in the Air of 2006: I just watched an episode of that Just One of the Guys show on tbs, and when Jim Gaffigan got to hang out at Wrigley Field for his birthday, he hit a home run. A HOME RUN, YOU GUYS!
Man, this guy's having the best party
ever. He just got surprised at a bar filled with like, 100 people wearing shirts with his picture ironed-on.
6) And as long as I'm thinking about surprise parties, Junek's two-weeks-early New Year's Eve birthday party is definitely the Best Surprise Party of 2006. We drank champagne!
7) Who's the car that drives better than Paul Newman circa 1986? Why, Gabe Kotter, of course! Congratulations, Gabe, because you're the Best Car of 2006!
8) Now the handsome young-looking guy came back to kiss this girl he's friends with? Oh my GOD, tbs Boys show. You're the Most Immediately Gratifying Show of 2006.
9) Scrubs is another show that's freaking out this year. First it's back from hiatus (when I had been sure that it had been cancelled), then it's syndicated EVERYWHERE, then I find out I can watch it for free on the internet at an undisclosed site (don't want it to be shut down). For these reasons and more, Scrubs is the Most Ubiquitous Show of 2006. And it's sort of funny, so good job.
10) Bloggy
remains the champ
11) Once I saw Seth Meyers in an elevator at nbc. I wanted to make him laugh somehow, but all I could think to do was mouth-fart when I got off at the lobby. I don't know if he laughed. He probably didn't hear it. All I'm saying is that now whenever I go to asssscat, if I pick my teeth, he picks his teeth. That is all I'm saying. Most Sincerely Believed-In Impossibility of 2006.
12) "You know Carla likes it more when you speak from your heart. Improv that, dog!"
13) Best Quiet Comeback of 2006: "...you big, dumb bioioiotch" (you have to do the oioioi sound, or else it's exactly the same as the Best Quiet Comeback of When I Worked At Starbucks")14) Best Thing Vishal and I Kept Saying to Each Other Last Year of 2006: it's a tie! The prize goes to both "ba-doi-ya-doi-ya-doink" as rapped originally by Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott AND "stooooooppppppppp" as soundlessly mouthed originally by Emilio Estevez, whose name I just realized would mean "this time" in spanish, if only "vez" were masculine instead of feminine.
15) Happy Honda Days? no no no
16) Actually getting a blood test done for this year's mono scare = Best Taken-Too-Far Nonexistent Malady of 2006
17) I can buy alcohol legally now, which has really taken away some stress. I actually think my posture has gotten better.
18) London Bridge (Fergie Ferg, how do you keep making the list?) Best Peed Herself of 2006.
19) I don't hate Alec Baldwin anymore, probably because of
this and
this, which is the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Best Minute of Television of 2006.
20) Even though I really hate to say it, since Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve are unquestionably my favorite theoretical holidays, the Best Holiday of 2006 was July Fourth. Hannah Goldpoops and I ate hot dogs at Coney Island, saw Belle and Sebastian for free in the rain, and ate those red, white, and blue rocket popsicles. WE HAD AN EFFING BLAST.
21) Best Week of Parties of 2006: the week that began with a PABAR christmas party (which got swallowed by stupid American Apparel freshmen and some unexpected Yalees) and ended with a fruit paunch/IGP party (which was basically my dream come true)
22) Halloween costumes: Marty McFly, then sexy mad scientist
23) Best What Took Up 90% of My Time This Semester of 2006: Guitar Hero, a-duh
24) Got a sweater that has a pastoral scene knitted into the front. USED.
25) here's something I wrote in January of 2006: "I found [a chik-fil-a coupon] in my purse, and frankly it's as useful as a continental up here." Now THAT'S funny!
26) "The time my mom knew a ton about grain" = Best
One-Act of 2006
27)
this reminded me of that time I went to see Crash Test earlier this semester and some dude named Ashish was getting questioned onstage by Aziz Ansari. Then Aziz Ansari was like "what's your last name, Anshari?" and I laughed and laughed and laughed
28) watch this
thing29) THIS LIST HEREBY EARNS ITS TITLE AS BEST "BEST OF 2006" LIST OF 2006
and now for a recap of the Projected Most Important Days:
31 January- WHOA that was not an interesting day
5 February- that Zissou sweater IS pretty great
23 March-
this is a better picture of what March 23rd was like. Also, I found out that it's somebody's birthday, but I forgot whose. AND, there's
this.
5 April-
this is the closest thing to it. I guess I was busy looking at things on amazon OR dying from so much effing varsity show.
20 July- TOM KEENAN'S birthday! And bookended by
this and
this26 November- I was so
thankful!
so there you go. This has taken me two hours to write. I WISH I COULD BE FUNNY AT THE END BUT I CAN'T. I CAN'T BE FUNNY FOR YOU. I WANT TO AND I CANNOT. Yesterday I saw casino royale. DANIEL CRAIG YOU'RE VERY HANDSOME. I SHOULD'VE PUT THAT OPINION ON THE LIST. BUT THEN WHERE WOULD SETH MEYERS HAVE GONE?
Now conan's showing a clip of himself as a very young man. And there's a huge audience. Which means this is his 10th anniversary special, which shares its date with my 18th birthday, which means that (a) that was one instance of fate just not happening and (b) why would tv go out of its way to show something three years old just to make me a little upset?
