Last Post Before There Are Month Repeats

After this post, there will be multiples of the month archives. SO LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT, JERKS.

"But I really needed to find her entry from december...oh crap was it 2004 or 2005?! Now I'll have to check both"
and also:
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! spooooooooooky!

I Tucked My Shirt Into My Pants For Dinner Tonight

becky abrams, Your ideal job is a Cowboy.

Big weekend-hocus pocus is extremely difficult to get on netflix these days-I'm suddenly smelling chocolate in my room-Grandma Bobbie took me, Matt, and cousin Ali to dinner tonight-I had a large steak-half of it is waiting for me in my fridge-maybe I'm the greatest american hero-what if I only wrote entries like this from now on-my pulse hurts-john b. sebastian equals my entire life.


What if I can't find you when I have landed? Would you leave me here to die, on the shore stranded?
This is from a Savuka and Johnny Clegg song called "Dela," which is one of the more amazing songs I know.

All other songs should BE so lucky!



And for Katherine, on the eve of getting her wisdom teeth out:

"Katherine's Wisdom Teeth, In Memoriam"

When we first met,
oh katherine's extraneous teeth,
I knew that I would hate you.

You had that look in your eye,
that look-
in your eyeteeth-
that seemed to say "I'm gonna kill you"

But who's getting killed now, bitch?
Say goodnight, teeth.
AND EAT KATHERINE'S DUST.


I hope Katherine likes it. I should've written it earlier
so I could've paid someone to set it to music
so she could listen to it while getting the teeth taken out.

I get the feeling she gets what it's about.

Third On The List Whose First Two Items Are "Perfect Strangers" And "Just The Ten Of Us"

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air
I never thought I could feel so free-
Flying away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me!

Downloading the themesong from the Greatest American Hero:
worst idea EVER.

because

now I will never stop listening to it, not ever.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

You May Touch This Exhibit With Your Eyes

tagged, tagged! here it comes:

(courtesy of katherine's tag)
(courtesy of kat's korner, all rights reserved)

FIVE SNACKS I ENJOY:
-cheesy poofs
-wheat thins
-pringles
-edamame
-the fruit gummie packs you can steal from the houses where you babysit

FIVE BAD HABITS:
-speaking too loudly when I should probably be whispering
-putting my fingers in/near my mouth (especially during cold and flu season)
-mumbling
-throwing my phone on the floor after I hang up sometimes
-getting shitty haircuts

FIVE BIGGEST JOYS:
-soup
-rainwalks
-elusive naps (and sleep in general)
-my cotton comforter (at home)
-when it snows at night and I'm outside to see it

FIVE THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR AGAIN:
-6th grade bathing suit
-any bathing suit
-this patchwork-silk number (combination blouse/pant) that I had to wear to my cousin Joe's wedding in 1997
-my Wesleyan volleyball manager shirt
-a peter pan shirt I crafted out of a forest green oversized volleyball shirt

[seven] FAVORITE TV SHOWS:
-Arrested Development
-Strangers With Candy
-Lost
-The Nanny
-The OC
-Freaks and Geeks
-Wonderfalls

FIVE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS I WOULD DATE:
-Marty McFly
-JD from Scrubs
-the bartender from Wonderfalls (eric, maybe?)
-Dr. Peter Venkman
-Lane Meyer OR Cry-baby Walker OR Ferris Bueller

TAGGED PEOPLE:
definitely mary (alias trash biscuit), and also I'd like to tag travis if he's willing/if he still reads this/if tagging is cool (which it is) (obviously)




Links are for lames.

I'm Still Eating At Fat Ammy's!

Items purchased from Duane Reade not forty minutes ago:

-store brand neosporin + pain remover
-charlie brown band aids
-nair hair removal deodorant stick that isn't really deodorant but does look like it
-cinnamon ice breakers mints
-a wall-mounting hook for my towel, which really shouldn't reside on my hat rack the way it does...like a jerk
-bowl-apetite macaroni
-simply asia teriyaki rice bowl
-rainbow false eyelashes for halloween
-one of those old-school round wall-mounting air fresheners
-a new clear-square decorative table-sitting air freshener
-new NON-menstrual-looking kotex products
-a 12-pack of brush-ups
-some body wash that smells of white pear and water lily


Wow is that really it? It felt like so much more.

And another thing:
how many times can I ACCIDENTALLY listen to "Santa Baby" before Halloween happens?

At least 8.
It feels like so much more.

And my room...it smells like nectar flowers (and my closet smells like citrus breezes!).
No longer smells like so much whore.

AND WE'RE BACK!

Laugh All You Want - Just Please Don't BOO!

What a weekend.

No work done.

Only half of my midterms are over.

What song is on? The theme from MASH, "Suicide is Painless."

...okay



WHY CAN I FEEL MY STOMACH EXPLODE FROM THE INSIDE?

I WON A FREE 1 LITER COKE PRODUCT!

ALISON AND I WENT TO LE MONDE FOR DINNER, AND THE WAITER AND I SHALL BE MARRIED ONE DAY!

Yes, married. But I mean, not right away. Well, maybe right away. Really, it depends on what he wants. All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him
Yeah, just do it
And after you do, you will be his.

Dusty, just for that, you're the theme of our wedding!

if you're thinkin of how great true love is, JUST ASK ME AND THE WAITER. WE'LL BE MORE THAN GENEROUS WITH OUR EXPLANATION. WE'RE A VERY TALKATIVE COUPLE OF NEWLYWEDS!

(Half a bottle of wine? Don't mind if I DON'T...I mean do)

Tell Him That You're Never Gonna Leave Him

Suck it, CC midterm

what's that? you just did?

Oh, I know.
I WAS THERE

Whoever Said Anything About Boyfriends, Boyfriend?

Yesterday:
9am contemp civ
11am LIBRARY STUDY TIME
12pm Holiday Soup from Ferris Booth
1-4pm Psych and art hum
4pm LIBRARY STUDY TIME
5pm film section
6pm LIBRARY STUDY TIME
8pm My favorite teen-pregnancy show
9pm LIBRARY STUDY TIME
1am leave library
3am do Italian homework on Low Plaza with Hoogendyk
4:30am Write callback scene for Varsity Show
5:30am sleep

Today:
6am wake up
6:02am read the entire bible
6:45am watch Moontruck twice
7am look at callback scene
11:30am actually wake up
1:07pm make myself a shirley temple because I got a ginger ale out of the machine and I realized I still have grenadine.

midterms tomorrow:
CC and Art Hum

midterms I've studied for so far:
CC, sort of

This shirley temple:
not great

Shower:
imminent

nap:
love to
...but cannot

And when I read my posts from a few months ago, I can't believe it.

My Slow Descent Into Idiocy

It's happening. I'm getting dumber, and there's no stopping it.

I can't understand spoken Italian anymore, I don't have any grasp of film theory, the dumbest concepts of Contemporary Civilizations are waaaaayyy beyond me, I just don't read for Art Hum (plain and serious), and I can't remember what we're doing in Psych.

Here's what I do now instead of not-getting-dumber:
1) get dumber
2) listen to "la vie en rose" repeatedly
3) make lists of things I really should be doing
4) sigh
5) eat
6) drink
45) watch Arrested Development
200) not go to Art Hum
46) look at other people's facebook photo albums
9) call my mom
20) regret calling my mom
11) throw my phone down on the ground
32) consider doing sit-ups
13) nap (only on sundays, oddly)
4) pout
1) take showers in the afternoon
e) lock my door
17) cultivate a type of ESP for when someone's about to IM me
80) put my itunes in order of most-played, then listen only to the already-most-played

Here's my most-played list:
items 1-20
a) "Sea of Love" cat power
b) "Danny's Song" anne murray
c) "I Saw the Light" todd rundgren
d) "A Dream Goes on Forever" todd rundgren
e) "Evil" interpol
f) "Si Te Vas" shakira
g) "Can We Still Be Friends" todd rundgren
h) "You Guys Are My Best Friends" cartman
i) "You Can't Hurry Love" the concretes (not the version you're thinking of)
j) "Tenderness" general public
k) "Waiting for Somebody" paul westerberg
l) "Don't Get Me Wrong" the pretenders
m) "Only You" yazoo
n) "Laid" matt nathanson
o) "Lo Boob Oscillator" stereolab
p) "Listen to What the Man Said" wings
q) "Sara" antonello venditti
r) "Hazey Jane I" nick drake
s) "Hello, It's Me" todd rundgren
t) "Dig Me Out" sleater-kinney

yeah, I probably won't read that list, either. Frankly, I might not even remember how. To read.

Now I'm listening to "And Then He Kissed Me" by the Crystals because WHAT WOULD I GIVE to live Elizabeth Shue's life in Adventures in Babysitting?

Either that one or Madeline Kahn's real life. Those seem nice.

Oh My God I just remembered that Madeline Kahn is dead.

Now I can't write anymore

too sad

sigh

(and still a-getting dumber)

Didn't Even Know I Needed It

Please let this be real

please

All Just A Little Case Of History Repeating

Here's what happened to Katherine:

This morning I was walking out to my car on the deck and my feet slipped out from under me and I fell flat on my ass. It hurt alot, and I was really mad about it. What made things worse was my mother screaming hysterically because somehow she thought I had hit my head. My mother screaming "are you ok?" "are you ok" Me screaming "I fell on my ass, I just fell on my ass I'm fine" I'm glad the neighbors were already at work. And my butt still hurts. (all rights reserved)

Here's what happened to me:

Last night I was fairly inebriated when Alison and I decided to go to the basement food-place guy (JJ's Place). I took a few normal-people steps on the staircase, and then slipped on some rainwater and fell all the rest of the way, hitting my butt on each step. When I got to the bottom, I looked up at Alison and was like, "ARE YOU OKAY?!!!" And then I forgot that I fell. And then my butt hurt a lot today.

One Of Those Delicious Falafel Hot Dogs With Bacon And Cinnamon On It

Items:

1) I can see my breath!

2) It's been raining for a while now!

3) My Italian teacher is a vegetarian?

4) Arrested Development Season 2 came in the mail today!

5) I've watched two and a half episodes already!

6) I did laundry!

7) Tonight I'm going to get LOST!

8) I like to make fart noises with ma mouth a-thhhhpp thhhpp thhppp MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE

My Aimee Mann Cd Finally Came In The Mail Yesterday

You look like a perfect fit
For a girl in need of a tourniquet

But can you save me
Come on and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

'Cause I can tell
You know what it's like
The long farewell of the hunger strike

But can you save me
Come on and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

You struck me dumb like radium
Like Peter Pan or Superman

You will come to save me
C'mon and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
'Cept the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
But the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

C'mon and save me
Why don't you save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

Except the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
Except the freaks who could never love anyone

Most Definitely Just Wrote A Paper Called "Separate Slaves, Worlds Apart"

I mean, mostly all I wanted to say I said in the title.

So this little number covers Aristotle's views on slavery as compared to the slavery presented in Exodus. And I mean, "slaves" sort of rhymes with "ways," so the Journey songtitle seems to pour directly into my paper.

I just hope my CC teacher likes Journey.
...but I mean, I always hope my teachers like Journey.

(my Italian teacher likes Moonstruck)

I'm Writing This As I Talk To Mother Via Telephone

John Donne
Anne Donne
Undone.


Here is something I found out today whilst reading my Film textbook:

there's a cinematographic technique called "Traveling Matte" that works pretty much like a blue screen. It's what lets Superman fly and move around with a matte background behind him.
"But wait a minute," you cry! "Isn't Traveling Matt a character on 'Fraggle Rock?' Isn't he Gobo's uncle? The one that travels around 'outer space' to explore traffic lights and junk like that?"

Yes, yes he is.
And, might I add, he's usually superimposed on videos of busy thoroughfares using the Traveling Matte technique.

Jim Henson, you lovable scamp!


(I can't...I can't even DESCRIBE the way I feel about Jim Henson. It far exceeds my underdeveloped ability to use words. The feeling might not even be an emotion...and also I originally typed "be" "bee.")

The Only Type Of Ring I Want From You

Big news!
I did smoke rings!!

in the medium-news:
my foot didn't hurt as much today.

and for the minimally exciting news:
they had Gardetto's snack mix in the vending machine downstairs.

SMOKE RINGS!!


ps Never a cigarette, NEVER.

pps mike's hookah, maybe.

Hahahaha

Touch me!

HAhahahahahahahaha!

Long-time Listener, First-time Caller

Oh, Roy!

Here's all I do now:
sit in my room, not studying, and listen to "You're a Big Boy Now" by John B. Sebastian.

Don't look now - it's the lyrics:

I know there's things you never thought before
That have to do with walkin' out old doors
You've been prepared as long as time allowed
Well I don't know how,
But you're a big boy now
Come on and take a bow
'Cause you're a big boy now

You know the girls are taking notice of you
They say your hair is getting curly too
So shave today and shave tomorrow as well
You're run by you and not a classroom bell
And I don't know how
But you're a big boy now

And the great big world your daddy threw before you
With the pretty faces and the claws that tore you
And it's all so different when you get to sources
And love will make you strong
as a team of wild horses

I know there's things you never thought before
That have to do with walkin' out old doors
You've been prepared as long as time allowed
Well I don't know how
But you're a big boy now
Come on and take a bow
'Cause you're a big boy now


I subconsciously surround myself with the bittersweet. "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" is still a scary show. This salad is better than I expected. What's that, John B. Sebastian? You think love will make me strong as a team of wild horses? I guess I wouldn't know anything about that...so lonely.

Now that's what I call a blog!

Plantar Fasciitis

That's what it is. The foot thing. I don't wear arch support, and it finally got to my foot.

And writing a post right now is seriously a bad way to be using my time,
BUT REALLY,
what kind of judge am I for how to use my time? I wrote a 5-page Art Hum paper in two hours last night. I can do pretty much anything in any amount of time. I simply call upon the magical aid of my friend Roy Feldman.

and also
Yesterday in my film class we watched My Darling Clementine, which is a Wyatt Earp movie with Henry Fonda. At first I was all "oh man I never knew exactly what Henry Fonda looked like, so I'm going to be confused the whole time" but THEN I saw him and I recognized him immediately.

Would you like to know how I recognized him immediately?

It's because he looks so much like Jane Fonda that I almost died. It was beautiful - they have the exact same eyes and cheeks and eyebrows. I couldn't take it. I love the fact that children look like their parents. It's beautiful.

jumbles!

So I have to buy shoes with arch support,
get an x-ray,
read nine chapters for my psych test on thursday,
study for the psych test on thursday,
wash my hair,
put up more posters for the fruit paunch show on thursday,
do a fruit paunch show on thursday,
go to dinner at Grandma Bobbie's tonight,
revise Art Hum paper,
listen to "turn a square,"
and get amped for starting to use the word "amped"
or maybe not.

I'm Roy Feldman!

Ronny Cammareri: You're gonna marry my brother? Why you wanna sell your life short? Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do. You waited for the right man the first time, why didn't you wait for the right man again?
Loretta Castorini: He didn't come!
Ronny Cammareri: I'm here!
Loretta Castorini: You're late!


Yesterday I didn't go outside until 11:30pm. I spent all day writing a paper on Eternal Sunshine for Film. It's garbage, though - I'm gonna throw it away. Just Serious!

sincerely,
Roy Feldman