How My Brother Almost Started A Riot In The Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Center

Today I toured the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Center with my brother, my two cousins, and my uncle, whose name is Tom. Together, we:
1) saw many Civil Rights Era memorabilia
2) saw more memorabilia
and 3) watched a movie about the Civil Rights Era and its assorted memorabilia.

Five minutes before the movie started, my brother tried to round all of us up to get good seats in the mini-auditorium. My cousins and I heard him right away, but Matt had to yell to get my uncle's attention. He saw him, cupped his hands around his mouth, and - in the middle of the MLK center - nearly yelled "UNCLE TOM!" before he thought better of it. Man oh man, would that have been a fun afternoon. Let's go around Atlanta, calling out "Uncle Tom" at every civil rights venue we can find!

Then we ate lasagna for dinner and I inherited two very large button-down shirts from my Uncle David. No racial slurs there. Nope, just two old-fashioned smocks.

And boy, do I hate them dirty, thieving smocks.

Stick This In Your Pipe & Smoke It!

I'm back, mother-fathers!!

Back like the hairy dorsal plane on katherine's gingerbread man!
Back like platform shoes aren't!
Back like the direction in which I do the Roger Rabbit!

Smoke it, America!
ps But first, please stick it in your pipe. Trust me - it works better in this order.

I Saw The Life Aquatic This Afternoon

Christmas Dinner: a short holiday one-act

Mom: screaming Becky!! Where are you?! Becky! Becky! Beeecccckky! Stop hiding from me! Stop pretending you can't hear me! Set the table! Come down here and set the--

Becky: quietly; already broken ok I'm coming--

Mom: BECKY!! SET THE TABLE!

Becky: ...ok.

Visiting Relatives: looking around uncomfortably

Matt: argh mom is so annoying

later on, at dinner
Mom: normal volume Well everyone, I hope dinner's okay! We all worked so hard on it.

Becky: takes sizeable sip of hard cider

Mom: gets into some argument with polite houseguest

Becky: more cider

Mom: interrupting houseguest's statement Becky! Did you remember to clean out Sparkey's kennel?!?!!!

Becky:finishes cider...yes.

Mom: resumes argument with houseguest

Becky finishes off dinner by wordlessly slipping into the bathroom, locking the door, and lying on the carpet until the loud, loud voices stop stabbing her through the paper-thin bathroom walls. Her ears bleed. Her eyes are heavy from hard cider. She realizes her eyes haven't been open for the last eleven minutes.

Becky: groans

Tiny Elf Who Enters Bathroom Through Air Duct: Merry Christmas, everyone!!

Becky: vomits all over elf

fin


I admit, the vomiting is artistic license - but the rest of it happened. Why do my plays imitate life to the point of pure plagiarism? Why is my mother the human form of raging heartburn? Why do I have to get up at the crack 'o' dawn tomorrow morning?

Answer to last question: so I can drive - strike that - so I can sit in a car, not driving, for twelve hours so we can go to the ozarks of Doniphan, Missouri and celebrate my grandfather's 80th birthday.

I want to break my leg so I can stay at home alone for the next four days. I want to see my friends. I do not want to leave the internet behind for over half of a week. I do not want to go on this family road trip. I do not want to wake up early tomorrow morning. How did I get a B+ in University Writing?

I'm not writing for four days. Call the cops if I haven't written again by Thursday. Seriously.

You're My Little Cup-Caker

How about another entry? Just remember to read the one right below this one. I just posted it.

Becky's Pretentious List of 2004 Items, Created Because She Thought, "Eh, Why Not?"

1) hmmm It was so funny that time I turned around because I thought Don was throwing something at me and I ended up running right into a door! My head hurt so bad that I had to crumple to the ground. I was laughing, though. It was a good fall.
2) I like this new laptop of mine. It's an iBook. I do not, however, like the gross palm-sweat marks on it. I guess I sweat too much or something.
3) Don't think I'm gross. don't stop reading. Please
4) Oh yeah - I saw Eternal Sunshine and I am so glad that I did. It made me cry in a way that I haven't cried (because of a movie) in a while. Though I will admit that I cry at a lot of movies. I'm easily manipulated. But this movie made me weep. I stood in my dorm room with the lights off and couldn't do anything but cry. Best Cry of 2004.
5) High School Diploma. This certainly makes me feel young. Or old. Which is it?
6) Bloggy, of course! Best blog I've ever created. And I mean it, Bloggy. It's you and me...forever.
7) Got a sweater with a dickie in it. It looks like a white t-shirt under a black sweater, but really, it's just the collar of the t-shirt! Best Dickie of 2004.
8) Met David Sedaris! Best Celebrity of 2004.
9) First job - Coldstone Creamery. Good ice cream, small paycheck, increased pant-size. Do you hear what I'm saying? I'm saying that the ice cream was good, so I ate a lot of it, but I didn't make that much money. And I got fatter.
10) Best Award of 2004 - Best Sportsmanship of every team at the Georgia Academic Quiz Bowl Championship.
11) Got into Columbia!!
12) Had a really long apocalyptic dream...see "there will be skunks, not roaches" for more details
13) hmm what else was great about 2004? All my old friends from Wesleyan, all my new friends at Columbia, all the made-up friends from Honduras...no wait. There was only one made-up one. Stupid, stupid Chutnie. She's not the best at anything. Not even at being the crappiest person alive. Well, maybe she's best at that. Chutnie = Crappiest Person of 2004. Boy, does she stink. Her magical powers include: (1)Can shrink down to pocket-size and (2)Doesn't use deodorant.
14) Seriously, Chutnie sucks.
15) A Sudden Thought: It has been over a year since I saw Belle & Sebastian! Wow, that's a long, long time. I love them so. Sometimes I can't understand how much I love them. I bought some of their luggage tags online and they came in the mail yesterday. Best Concert of 2003: Belle & Sebastian.
16) Best Concert of 2004: Seeing JOURNEY at Music Midtown in Atlanta. Lordy I love that Journey. But in a completely different way from how I love Belle & Sebastian.
17) This list: Best "Best of 2004" List of 2004!

This list is amazing! You are amazing! Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!!

Chuck WANTS IT

While discussing Paris Hilton and her potential to kill G_D, Mark writes:
"please bear in mind, by the way, that this blog entry is in no way an ironic chuck klosterman spin column from a year ago (i think that he has oirony at this point) [sic]."

Haha Take THAT, Chuck Klosterman! Furthermore, I continue to not enjoy contemporary Country music. Bad day for you, my friend. Yes indeed, it's a bad, ironic (?), wintery day for one sir Klosterman.

Anyway, on the Paris Discourse (see entry labeled "why paris hilton could kill god"), I feel too jumbled to know anything. I have reached a point where I no longer differentiate irony from sincerity. Everything is funny to me in that half-smirk way...is Paris funny because she is completely manipulating everything that today's media represents, or is she satan for taking advantage? Is it funny that the world has gotten this way, or is it impossibly disheartening? Am I happy that I can find ungrounded humor in the absurd world around me, or am I dejected because I hardly inhabit it at this point? Too much to think about for now...way too much. Forget paris (ha-ha) vs. G_D - this conflict of perspective has the potential to kill me. Look under the "here we go!" entry in Josh's blog to read more on this topic...if you feel like it.

There was something else...what did I want to talk about?
Ah yes, I'M HOME NOW!

Home! I'm at home! Break is here! Hopefully I'll realize it's Christmastime before tomorrow.

PS I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, Chuck Klosterman. It's just that...Mark did have a point. You would totally write this essay. If you already haven't, that is.

It Makes Me Want To Be A Better Woman

We may still have time
We might still get by
Every time I think about it I want to cry
With the bombs and the devils
And the kids keep coming
Nowhere to breathe easy...no time to be young
But I tell myself that I’m doing alright
There’s nothing left to do tonight but go crazy on you

My love is the evening breeze touching your skin
The gentle sweet singing of leaves in the wind
The whisper that calls, after you in the night
And kisses your ear in the early light
You don’t need to wonder, you’re doing fine
And my love, the pleasure’s mine
Let me go crazy on you

Wild man’s world is crying in pain
What you gonna do when everyone is insane
So afraid of wanting, so afraid of you
What you gonna do....ahhhhhhhhhh

Crazy on you, crazy on you, let me go crazy crazy on you

I was a willow last night in my dream
I bent down over a clear running stream
I sang you the song that I heard up above
And you keep me alive with your sweet, flowing love

Heart, "Crazy on You"

shit

I just missed my fucking flight.

Here, Delta, how about another $500 to get me on one that leaves tomorrow?

I'm screaming right now

Jimmy Durante Was Right

Q: How did going home turn into some sort of death march?
A: How the hell should I know?
Q: You just answered my question with another question.
A: And what you just said wasn't a question.

Starting Over
(imagine Jimmy Durante singing "Did You Ever Get The Feeling That You Wanted To Go?")
Q: What are you doing tomorrow?
A: Flying home. Away from school.
Q: Ahh, away from school. Are you looking forward to leaving?
A: Well, to be frank, there's something in my body that is imploring me to stay. I think it's in the gut-region. It says "Please please pleeease stay here! Play in the snow! Spend some leisurely days with your college friends in this crazy city. We haven't been able to relax together since Orientation. Why are you leaving just when work is letting up?"
Q: Wow. What are you going to say to your gut?
A: I'm thinking I'll remind it how much I love life in Norcross. I'll tell it that I get to see my friends a lot and relax and sleep and drive wherever I please.
Q: But do you hear the song that just came on your iTunes?
A: Yes, yes I do. It's "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas," the Bing Crosby version. Don forced me to listen to this about thirty times a day since the 10th.
Q: And it draws you back into your gut, doesn't it?
A: Oh man. Now I'm sad again.
Q: How are we going to deal with Christmas coming so soon?
A: I have no idea. (No tengo ninguna idea)
Q: And what about that Missouri road trip?!
A: Let's stop talking. I just want to lie in my dorm bed and try not to look at my way-too-heavy luggage.

Wow - my most depressing entry to date.

Why didn't it snow sooner? Why take this road trip so very soon after Christmas? Will my cell phone work in Missouri? How am I going to deal with summer break?

We've got tonight - who needs tomorrow? We've got tonight. Why don't you stay?

Your Mentos and I

There's nothing quite like hearing Yo La Tengo's "How To Make a Baby Elephant" as I am about to open the door to my room. What feeling is this? Not necessarily happy, content, scared, depressed, hmmm what are some more feelings? Hunger... I shall buy myself The Jerk and learn the line for real.

But in the meantime, I will think on the baby elephant.

Words Of A Wise Man

As Strongbad once said,

"IT'S OVER!"

And I might have just failed Calculus...but who cares?!! Four days until Christmas, tons of shopping to do, unbelievable amounts of packing ahead of me.

I would have liked some more down-time in the city, though. I heart down-time. Down-time hearts me. Save the date: we're getting married on Cinco de Mayo. Bring presents and birdseed so the birds' stomachs don't explode.

Sports Authority, all I can say is that you better have some reasonably priced duffel bags for me to choose from. Because I need a bag, and I also need my money.

I could use a nap.

There's Ass Between Us

Open up your eyes, Becky!
Calculus II wants you to die. Will you let him win? How will you face him in the exam room tomorrow morning? OPTIONS:
1) cowering in fear, peeing pants
2) voraciously, like a hungry beast who fills its belly on math
3) apathetically. Maybe you could nap a little or something...whatever. Who cares?

Overwhelmingly, I already know. Three 3 t.h.r.e.e. tres t h r e e. I'll pull an Airheads move and wipe my ass with the final as soon as the professor hands it to me. How's that for a grand close to the semester? Then I'll do a great big "suck it" gesture and backflip out of that stupid room. Then I'll sit down in the snow for a while and see what's up. I'll probably peg some losers with snowballs until I get bored, and then I'll find a wheelchair somewhere and wheel myself back to my room. Then I'll jump on the bed while eating popcorn.

I'm a rebel.

You really don't want to mess with someone like me. Did you hear that, Calculus final? I'm not afraid anymore! I'M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE!!! (but then I see Old Man Shovel Slayer and I freak out and run back inside).

The immediately preceding was vaguely inspired by a scene from Home Alone. In real life, I am still sort of afraid of the final. It would be good if I didn't fail this class.

Grade Curve, please look out for rebels like me.

I Think My Brain Collapsed

IT'S SNOWING!!!

IT IS SNOWING!

SNOW IS FALLING DOWN AND I AM FREAKING OUT!

Hoi Polloi

I just opened one of the best ecards I've ever seen. Annie sent it to me - it's got a clay-mation boy who makes snowballs and throws them at a snowman...he hits it like twice and then when he bends over to make more snowballs, the snowman grins, pulls off his own head, and smashes it into the kid's head. hahaha lol what a funny snowman. "Anything for justice...and a little fun in the snow!"

Things I don't see enough of:
1) Clay-mation
2) Mr. Bill in particular
3) snow
4) the gym (hey-ohhh!)
5) This list is starting to make me feel bad because everything I'm thinking of makes me ask myself why I'm not doing something about it.
6) Sparkling apple cider

My hair has gotten way way way too long. It's out of control.

A Humble Correction

It has been brought to my attention that Beej is not to be thanked. BJ, you're out - Christopher Cross, you're back in.

Thanks, Chris...Toph. Er. Cross.

ITALIAN EXAM---DONE!
LIT HUM EXAM---DONE!!

Well Becky, what are you doing right now? (Seeing as you only have one stupid final left and it's not until Tuesday and there's a heavy chance you might not study for it at all even though you probably should)

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOING!! Rocking out to Journey, of course.
!Only the Young Can Say!

IMPROMPTU LIST OF THINGS I LOVE RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT:
1) Journey
2) Herodotus, Thucydides, Homer, Aristophanes, Plato, Aeschylus, Euripides, and Sophocles. And sometimes Aristotle. But not really, since he bores me and says a lot of stuff that's pretty obvious.
3) Don't Stop Believin'!!
4) My stapler!
5) the prospect of being done with Calculus II
6) Everything!!
7) Everyone!!
8) Cold air when you're too hot!
9) Warm comforter when you're freezing!
10) did I say Journey?

Composed Sixteen Minutes Prior

Nope, no wait - it turns out I really did need to study. sheeeeee...

from 9-3:30: two exams.
3:30-on: ahhhhhhhhh
(some period of time Tuesday: wha-a-aa? calcmedus?)

going.

Feet That Stink To High-Heaven!!

STUDY BREAK WAS A SMASH. extra extra read all about it..blah blah...eh nevermind don't read it; hold onto your shiny dime because you might need it later in life, when you need it at a soda machine or when you need a lucky dime to hold in your pocket.

Exams taken:
Sociology

Exams tomorrow:
Italian
Lit Hum

Exam Tuesday (aka never will study for it)
Calculus II.

"I suck...he's sucky...you're lucky...we're all lucky!!!" Magenta, Rocky Horror...possibly not a direct quote.

Too many breaks, not enough study. RATIONALIZATION: who cares about first semester grades, anyway?! As my friend BJ Thomas is always saying,
"When you get lost between the moon and New York City
(I know it's crazy, but it's true)
When you get lost between the moon and New York Ciiiii-tay
The Best That You Can Do (best that you can do)
IS FALL IN LOVE!!!"

Thanks, Beej!

You Won't Be Sorry

Man whoever comes to this Study Break I'm throwing tomorrow WILL NOT BE SORRY. I just picked up the rockingest refreshments OF ALL TIME. And now I have an impetus to do all my studying tonight!!!

Oooh really creepy story:
This afternoon I am studying in the stacks for a few hours...blah blah blah...I read the Sociology Book and read it and read it and read it some more...as I slowly notice this huge weird 47-year-old man sitting three seats away from me. He is staring at me, making no effort to make it seem like he's not. He's outrightly staring at me. Scowling, I glance over at him to let him know I see him and do not appreciate his attention. He stares at me more. He actually turns his chair so it is angled toward me. I get up (with my purse and all personal effects) to go to the bathroom, and he stares at me as I walk away. I figure he might steal my Sociology Book...because it smells like me or something...so I come right back and sit down again. I read two paragraphs and then I decide to just get the fuck out of there.

Creeeeepy, non?

Blech I need a shower.

At the Study Break, we will watch Strangers with Candy and Arrested Development! 4 pm, John Jay 7 Lounge, No Shirt No Shoes No Problem, dilute dilute ok.

Mere Mother-Gooseries

Right foot is tingling because it was asleep.

...with your jellybeans...and stickers...

All this exam preparation will never ever happen.

Am I in a nightmare of laziness?

(thoughts going through Becky's head at 2:23 am)

Hoisted by my own petard!!

Girl, I Heard You're Getting Married - This Time You're Really Sure?

What follows is a list of the most current songs I've added to my iTunes...and my thoughts on each:

1) "The Worst That Could Happen" Brooklyn Bridge - I heart this song because it makes me sing (over and over in a sad voice) "never never never never gonna get married...."
2) "Waiting for Somebody" Paul Westerberg - this is the song that plays in Singles. It's good and singable and I listen to it a lot. Surprisingly, it's not Pearl Jam.
3) "Have a Little Faith In Me" John Hiatt - I figure that I sing this song enough to defend myself when my mom yells at me...I might as well just add it to the list.
4) "Kyrie" Mr. Mister - excellent song
5) "We've Got Tonight" Bob Seger - once I got #3, I was on a roll, I guess. A depressing, middle-aged-male-bearded-singers roll.
6) "At Seventeen" Janis Ian - I couldn't believe this wasn't on the playlist before. Ahhhh memories of turning 17 and receiving more than one birthday card with these lyrics on it. Why am I the way I am?
7) "Don't Sleep In The Subway" Petula Clark - makes me happy.
8) "I Only Want to Be With You" Dusty Springfield - I like Dusty and she's my role model. At least she would have been if I were a few decades older.
9) "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me" Dusty (again) - I just said... I like Dusty.

there are some more, but this is getting boring for me. I think I'll listen to the Singles song. Becky Out.

The Best A- of My Life

Everybody get happy!

The all-nighter paper came back today, and it has acquired a rockin' tattoo - a huge, in-my-face, completely surprising A-

Yep, it looks like I've struck gold with this staying-up-all-night plan. Maybe I should write a short book about it and make millions! A working title:
Making the Grade: Proof of Justice in Nocturnality
...or how about the catchier Why Sleep Tonight?! An A- Awaits You!

Gold, I tell you! Gold!

Everybody Wang Chung tonight!

The Soldering Iron Of Justice

Right as I clicked on the "add a post" button, my eyes started screaming, "stop; please don't! pleeeeaaase!! We're so tired! ugh we're closing RIGHT NOW! We can't possibly stay open any longer!"

but I was like, "guess what, eyes. I'm the boss. So go ahead and eat my shorts, ok?"
and they totally had to just take it because it's true - I AM the boss.

So now that everybody's cooperating, here's the deal:
Studying - should consider it
Math homework - somehow seems unfair that it's due after our last class (last week), so I'm going to pass
Peach Tea Crystal Light - mystifies me. I hate tea, but I love this Crystal Light. And I'm sooo thirsty
Amy's Glue - I borrowed it, never used it, and still have it
Young Frankenstein - sits on my desk, saying "hey, Becky. It's me, your old friend Young Frankenstein. Care for a break?"
Me - yeah I think I'll go to bed
Signing Off - good idea.

Here is the way my Italian teacher says goodbye: "CIAO CIAO!"

On Michael, His Home In Athens, And His Bald Head

I need to get more REM.

I'M PUSHING AN ELEPHANT UP THE STAIRS!

or who could ever forget CALL ME WHEN YOU TRY TO WAKE HER UP

I'm A Superball

Forcing me to go to that Aimee Mann concert this summer was probably one of the best things Katherine has ever done for me.

Well there are other things:
this entry will be entirely dedicated to things Katherine has done for me
- she bought me stay-up socks for Chanukah in 8th grade and made a card to go with them that said "Happy Festival of Lights!"
- she took me to my first concert (Yo La Tengo the night before I turned 18)
- she never got mad all those times I almost got us into car crashes...especially that time we were at Northpoint Mall and I didn't realize my lane would run out on the other side of the intersection so I had to stop in the middle of the busy busy traffic
- she introduced me to the following: Magnetic Fields, Belle and Sebastian, Aimee Mann, Cat Power, Strangers with Candy, David Sedaris, Dave Eggers...wow that's just about everything I like. Except Wet Hot American Summer. I believe I introduced that one to her...ehhh
- she got me a hope chest for my birthday...and a deluxe VHS copy of Strange Brew
- she has embraced my love of Back To The Future and accepted my love of Star Wars
- makes good pound cake
- she visited me in New York Citaaaaayy

And so much more. Wow maybe I should have saved this for her birthday or something. Well I guess it's a few days late for her 18th-and-a-third birthday...that will have to do.

What He Didn't Get Was That I Was Comparing Oedipus As A Joke

Chanukah party = presents:

A sweater and a matching ski cap
A pouch with little cars on it

end of list.

I ALSO got to spend time with my step-cousin Julia, who is in tenth grade right now. She usually hates these kinds of parties, and I don't blame her. She is excited about driving. I reassured her that she was right to be excited about driving; driving rocks. Driving is what makes me happy. I feel tortured when I'm not with my Mr. Kotter, the camry. I miss you, Gabe. I miss you and your silly little mustache and your endless Uncle Herbie stories...

So the party was nice and I have yet to study for finals and that makes me seem preeettttty stupid, I guess. Except:
"Please excuse Juan for being a sheephead." Signed: "Epstein's mother's veterinarian."

Take THAT, corporate America!!

Everyone Just CHILL OUT

I'm in guys - I'm in. BLAAAAAAAA!!

English Jake Says, "I'm Watching TV...Period."

I'm (hopefully) becoming a full member of Philo tonight. I can't stop yawning. The yawning takes place when I'm nervous. Perhaps the yipping dogs will help me...

Don's grandfather lied to the government and said he was two years older so he could get a driver's license at age 14.

I'm filing my nails because they are too long. Yawn Yawn Yawn Stomach jumping around Yawn

I pooped a hammer.

Swimming in Blue Pen Ink

I'M GOING SHOPPING FOR PANTS - Wish Me Luck, Please.

To occupy your time whilst I am gone, read this passage from my best University Writing exercise. I am interviewing Frederico Garcia Lorca about his theory of "duende," and this is Lorca's (my) response to my question, "How can you find more verve in death than in life?":

"Lorca: Think of death as not only the status of being dead, but rather as mortality on the whole. Death looms over all of us - it cannot be escaped. Death is inevitable. When mortals come to really comprehend this fact (which is a rare occurence), we are left feeling completely vulnerable. We are inconsolable, feeling the pain and beauty and mystery of life all at once and not knowing how to handle it. We feel the most intensely beautiful emotions that we will ever feel when we understand that we will soon die, and that is where duende is born. Duende is the shipwreck of living. It is the exquisite disaster that makes up one man's life. Duende is the acknowledgment and consequential pain of mortality, of one day not existing anymore. Everything that we can know or feel of death during life is encapsulated by duende."

Future plans:
* Read more Lorca
* Stage more interviews with myself as famous people
* Date a mustachioed man
* Take my Camry for a tune-up when I get home
* Buy pants
* Kiss someone under some mistletoe (for once)
* Learn to fly a plane
* Make some Jiffy Pop on the stove before I die

Pants, stay right where you are - I'm coming to get you.

Just Give Me Half a Chance!

WHAT DO I ENJOY?

1) Tropical starburst...such as fruit punch or mango or kiwi
2) "Tenderness" by General Public (the song that plays during the very last scene of Clueless)
3) Retardedly gorgeous (if sporadic) naps
4) Turning in papers
5) Rain-walks
6) Situations that seem surreal/ feeling like a walking exhibition of Post Modern art
7) Totino's Pizza Rolls
8) Taking turns telling jokes with the kids I used to babysit
9) When Katherine tells me I'm "funny today"
10) Singing really loudly while driving
11) Singing to myself on the sidewalk to ward off crazies
12) Making lists
13) Receiving packages at the Lerner Package Center
14) Strangers with Candy
15) Seeing people I've missed very much
16) "Ready To Take A Chance Again" by one MISTER Barry Manilow
17) Tiny little toddler babies (because they are so very small)
18) Realizing that I feel better after feeling sick for a while
19) the number 54...it reminds me of a tomato
20) Rounding out lists to clean numbers

ahhhhh list of things I enjoy...you always make me feel nice

That. Was. Amazing. (Keep in mind: I can never take naps)

I can't believe I don't spend every day of my life like this -

Around 7 am, I took the nicest walk OF MY LIFE around campus as the sun came up. I picked up my mail, read a lovely Christmas card from Katherine, and took a leisurely shower.

The rest of the day seemed like one of those days where you just didn't get enough sleep the night before. I thought I could make it until regular-going-to-bed-time...even though I was tired...BUT

I was convinced/convinced myself at 5 pm that I could take a nap and wake up before the Dining Hall closed at 8.

3:09 AM - woke up in my bed with ridiculous, stabbing Charlie Horse.

Currently - still tired, but not sleepy tired. My stomach doesn't feel like eating. I can't really do work. Maybe I'll watch a movie or something

CONCLUSION: Staying up all night long is...THE best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm 100% sure it's my soulmate. Guys, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you. (concernedly) Peace Out.

Maybe half of everything I say is a direct Napoleon Dynamite quotation.

The Only Living Girl In New York

Well everyone, it's 5:53 (not PM)

I've been realizing throughout the night that this might be the first actual All-Nighter of my life. I've definitely broken night before, but I don't think I've gone for an entire 48-hour period without sleep. How strange that I've gotten so far in life this way. I'm excited. I'm also lame. We'll see what tomorrow is like.

I would bet that I can't imagine what it will be like.

I really enjoy the time of day (or night?) that I usually waste with sweet sweet sleep. But Becky, you love sleeping so much! Yes, that's right, but can't I like sleeping and not-sleeping at the same time? I think that's reasonable.

a) I've written that paper that I kept putting off (due at 9 AM today)
b) I've revised that paper that I should have revised a month and a half ago
c) I've ripped five cds onto my computer that I'm surprised I hadn't ripped before now
d) This is getting boring for all my precious readers...I'll stop here
...unless...
...unless you really do want me to keep talking about things I've done with the wee small hours of the morning...

HOW ABOUT IF I SWITCH TO A ONE-WOMAN DISCUSSION OF FREDA PAYNE'S "BAND OF GOLD"
For about a week this July, I went a little crazy and listened to "Band of Gold" over and over and over. For seven days (maybe six), it was "Band of Gold" nonstop on my stereo. The lyrics intrigued me, and I wondered what the heck was up with Freda-- my thoughts:

1) Is the singer frigid? Like Hitchcock's Marnie? Most likely
2) Did she do something disgraceful and confess recently? Similar to Tess of the d'Urbervilles? Quite possibly
3) Turns out husband is gay? Not as likely, since the singer says that she wants the guy to love her "like he tried before"

I still don't know.

I organized and filed all these papers that were junking up my room. I can't stop jittering. My face is haggard. I can't take a shower now because the hair dryer will wake people up...and not using a dryer would yield disastrous results.

PS Does it seem like I'm obsessed with Motown these days? Because I'm not.
PPS Seriously, I'm listening to Sleater-Kinney right now.
PPPS And Janet Weiss's drumming is melting my face off!
PPPPS Double serious - the shaking isn't stopping...Delirium Tremens perhaps?

Finally, It's Settled

FACT: "If You Really Love Me [Won't You Tell Me?]" by Stevie Wonder is the most enjoyable song of my life.

It might even be the most enjoyable song of all of your lives, too. Disagreements can go in the Comments area, with the rest of the garbage.

Wait wait wait-strike all of that...
BEST SONG OF ALL TIME: "Jane" by Starship

Yes, I think we can all get on board with that.

My Stomach Says To Me, "Enough With The Brie, Already"

Me: Question, Becky: What is your favorite TV theme song tonight?
Myself: That's easy! Perfect Strangers, of course.

Click Me To See Something Funny

Me: Say, did you ever get around to writing that Lit Hum essay?
Myself: Hmm, funny you should ask, because No I Most Definitely Did Not.
Me: That's ok I guess...It's just-- Didn't you plan to do that last night?
Myself: shhh shhhh shhh baby, let's not ruin it.
Me: I'm not sure what you mean.
I: barges in What's going on, ladies?
Myself: Oh hey-what's up?
I: Meh, not much.
Me: Have you at least started thinking of what your essay will be on? Like a topic or something?
Myself: No but here is what I have done: Painted a Triceratops.
I: Awesome!
Me: Oh.
Myself: Isn't it good?
Me: Yes...yeah.
I: It's amazing!
Myself: Thanks. I thought so, too.
I: It's incredible!
Me: I'm going to bed.
Myself: Later, loser.
I: eats the Triceratops painting

fin

Don't Worry; It's Not Lonely

The only Radiohead song I have on my computer is "Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong." Why? Why no others?

Because I'm lazy, I guess. Lay off already...sheesh.

It's an enjoyable song, anyway.
A beautiful girl can turn your world into doubt.

Enough about the song, already.
Next: thoughts on why thefacebook.com is turning me into a person I never wanted to become:

I never used to be so creepy. But now, through Facebook, I can look at profiles of people I would otherwise never know anything about. And this is not good - here is what currently runs through my head when I'm on Facebook or CU Network: "Well, I saw their profile, and they've probably already seen mine, so we've (in essence) been introduced and are now quite good friends. Thanks, Internet, for offering screennames as well. It makes it so much easier to IM these new friends of mine."

I used to have self-control. I used to be able to contain my eccentric impulses, thinking better of acting them out as each one popped into my mind. But now, thanks to Facebook, I think I've contracted some form of Tourette's or something. Damn that Mark Zuckerberg. Damn that Adam Goldberg. Damn that Al Gore, for inventing this ruiner we call "the Internet". Do not damn this blog. Nothing is wrong with this blog.

Me: Isn't that right, bloggy?
Becklectic: That's right. self-righteously nods head with eyes closed, arms crossed
Me: Thanks for agreeing with me.

Katherine says that maybe I should just disconnect my Internet for a while.

Raspberry Ice

Here it is backwards:

My hair is getting too long.

The chats with the friends, when I do not work. There's a football involved.

Lunch at Max SoHa with Grandma Bobbie. We ate the same kind of sandwich - a caprese sandwich. Caprese is my favorite kind of salad. She filled the meter with quarters.

Noonish call, when my scratchy voice betrays me. I sleep until noon, Grandma!

Sleep

First five minutes of Singles, mostly just the part with Kyra Sedgwick dating a fake-Spaniard.

Wait forever for the 1,9 at Columbus Circle. We see Elle and Ngozi on the train. IT IS KISMET. It is 4:12 AM.

Fries covered in truffled brie fondue. Diner 24 so so posh, don't you think it posh? No? Are you hearing the Postal Service we're playing over your heads? Mais oui!

Walking, cold, Chelsea, ears falling off, where are my ears?

La Mala Educacion. La second film starring Gael Garcia Bernal I've seen in a month. I wish I remembered more spanish.

Buying tickets, I remember that I owe Mark $10 from the other night. I don't have the $10 in my wallet, subtracting the cost of present ticket. Oops. I will make a note.

In dorm, deciding between Bad Education and Arturo UI. Mark says we need to go NOW, since the movie is in Chelsea.

I post some boring crap about Elmer's Tape.

anti-fin

Elmer Makes Tape Now?

Hey Quarter-man, how's about you and me?

Things I Have Done Today:
1) tried to revise 11-page paper on globalization
2) did a bad job
3) had some hot chocolate
4) wore layers that did not look good
5) wore a vest with stripes
6) showered this morning
7) discussed with friends the idea of dating someone without thinking of marrying them...i.e. If you knew you wouldn't marry a person, would you still date him/her?

I was firmly on the side that said, "yes, I would date a person that I couldn't imagine marrying." Vishal and Don disagreed with me, Tess saw where I was coming from, and Taylor appreciated both sides of the argument. I had much support for my side, including a hypothetical anecdote wherein I dated an Orthodox Jew. How can we sleep while our beds are burning?

Things I Might Do Tonight:
1) go see Bad Education
2) go see the school's production of Arturo UI
3) scratch my left elbow some more
4) ahhhhhh
5) just go to sleep

Things I've Done This Week:
1) saw A Very Long Engagement
2) finally watched my dvd ($2 from Wal-Mart) of The Boy In The Plastic Bubble
3) has anyone else seen The Boy In The Plastic Bubble? The ending made me very nervous and I felt that maybe I should cry, never mind the fact that it's a made-for-tv movie. It's got John Travolta AND Glynnis O'Connor, which spells Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y to me.
4) had apocalyptic dream
5) attended Food Expo in John Jay Dining Hall
6) went to Philo
7) drank some blood-orange Snapple

fin

Your Crucible

Click Me; I'm Begging You

It's a quiz, ladies and gentlemen. Just how well do you know Becky? (Click the link to find out)

There Will Be Skunks, Not Roaches

I had a hugely long, apocalyptic dream last night. Here is the dream, in an abbreviated fashion:

Huge, 4-part multiplex mall. I'm there with my brother. Two parts of the mall are closed at all times, but we went into one of the closed parts, which was really open - inside it was a Dillard's or some other completely normal department store. This part of the dream is boring...I'll skip over it (we look at books and a clerk recognizes me but I try to hide from him)

Then I was in a stadium-style theatre (inside the mall?) with my mom (brother turned into mom) and two little frogs jumped up to us (there were few other people in there, and it was still pre-show). I thought the frogs were hilarious and very small and good, but my mom freaked out (while keeping her composure). One frog ended up on her shoulder, and the other one was under her leg. I laughed and was proud of the little frogs for being so funny.

Then we watched some play where this girl stands on a pedestal as five men, standing on the floor, push her around dramatically. This signifies her getting drunk at a party. Then, when the pushing stops, someone hands her three pills, and she twirls around and takes them. She is taking drugs! Before the play ends, something serious happens. In an unclear way, the world has begun to end. [At this point in the dream, I think I'm recalling "Cat's Cradle," that Vonnegut book about Ice-9, so maybe the world is ending because some jackass turned all the world's water into gel...or something.]

So I find myself at home, tortured. I see at least 10 skunks on my lawn, devouring piles of gourds. I think to myself, "funny, I thought there would be more roaches." Mom discovers that her crossword puzzle book has a secret. It is one of those books that can open on either side, and you can read from either side until you hit the middle, where the pages turn upside-down. Like an instructional manual that is english on one half and spanish on the other. So from one side, this crossword puzzle book has puzzles that, when worked correctly, can refresh themselves...which translates into immortality to my mother. If you do a puzzle everyday, you will live forever.

I'm still in the yard, running around frantically, trying to dodge skunks, looking at our mutated azalea bushes. My anguished mind comes up with a thought - if one side of the puzzle book makes you live forever, then the other side must erase your entire existence. So I consider what it would mean for me not to exist at all, and all this thinking takes place as I continue to run frantically around the yard.

Then our back porch moves around to the front of the house and turns into a miniature outdoor cafe. It's the dreariest cafe of all time. A couple eats dinner there-

Then my cell phone rang and I woke up. And now I'm skipping Calculus II so I can write about my dream and then maybe eat a little breakfast. I should read more Vonnegut.

Based on Anecdotal Evidence

IS there any way you can go to this link?

Pete's Corner

If yes, please do it at your leisure. If no, go kiss Sammy Hagar on the mouth. Do it.
The link is Pete's Corner. Pete is in The Walkmen. The Walkmen played an Orientation Week concert at Columbers, and I talked to Pete, himself. He was offputtingly sweaty, but not as sweaty as Matt (the drummer). I adore the Walkmen.

Here's what I would never do to them: Give them the keys to the street.

Here's what I would encourage them to do: Drink lots of water.

Everyone, drink some water! I am the queen of phone trickery!

I Get More Loving From A Dummy Than I Ever Got From You

I'm thinking I need Dakota Fanning for this video project I'm planning...Chutnie, that "girl" that hangs around me while licking chocolate off her chubby fingers, has a sister named Nellie who is uber-cute and little. Everyone loves Nellie, and no one likes Chutnie.

(nobody freak out - Chutnie is a figment of my and Briana's imagination) (correction: a fat figment)

So Briana and I got to talking today, and we realized that Nellie needs a theme-song, one that repeats the word "svelte" over and over. And then we realized that there has to be some sort of accompanying video for the song, and we've worked it out that Briana can play Chutnie, but where oh where can we find a small cute Nellie? Ah yes, there is a girl. There is a girl named Dakota Fanning. Dakota, are you free?! Dakota, answer our calls! Dakota, why do you run?